Post by leogrl19 in Next in Line comments

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leogrl19120 days ago(+1)

This was Phenomenal. There’s so much potential and depth in the plot, characters + decisions/consequences! I was so impressed when holding court that one of my Harbinger’s past decisions bore weight and helped me convince someone. I just had to let you know what an amazing start this is and that I’m really looking forward to the romances in particular (Lady Margaret - oof!); it’s so rare to feel like an LI feels isn’t just instantly falling for you because they have to/are your MC’s match. I hope I get to see them fully fleshed out.

I absolutely get completing long term projects (and the scale of it getting away from you) takes so much work, so take your time! And know we’re rooting for you! ❤️

Vi @ VW Publishing119 days ago(+2)

Hey! Thank you so much for playing and for this comment. I love hearing thoughts from everyone, good and bad, and I really appreciate your sharing yours! Since it's early game, there are many decisions that won't show up for a while but it's definitely my intention that choices should matter as much as they can.

I definitely intend to further flesh out many characters, both LIs and others. Just like MC, they have likes, dislikes, pain, happy memories, etc. I want people to enjoy the story whether or not romance or friendship is involved. One reason I'm so so so slow with writing is because I try so hard to capture that character's voice and make them unique and true to themselves. The first version of my demo, I got a lot of comments that the characters flirted the same. That was good feedback because it was unintentional. I had to really dig deep into their psyches.

Anyway, sorry for the long response. If you read all this wow. Thank you again for taking the time!!

- Vi

leogrl19119 days ago(+1)

You don’t have to apologize for a long response - I appreciate you reaching out! I think taking good feedback/critiques is so important — especially from the community supporting your work. Writing characters + romance isn’t easy - I know my number one aim when I do so is to get characters’ voices right, because if you don’t have that down, what even is the point? You get that unmemorable/unsatisfying feeling. I think you’re on a great track; if there’s anything I also hope to see, it would also be variety in length of interactions with your LI. I feel like a lot of VNs/IFs kinda fall into this standard ‘we have to have a five minute moment here! Then a quick one later!’ Rinse, repeat. Longer moments (not just stolen ones, but intentional) - or even chapters centered on the LI would be not only realistic, but very gratifying for the reader. I’d also say more descriptions on the characters we’re interacting with would be nice; weaving it into the dialogue/narrative. I didn’t really know what anyone looked like until seeing their lil baby bios.

Hope that helps and thanks again for putting such an awesome story out there!!

Vi @ VW Publishing118 days ago

All great points and definitely adding them to my list of things to consider and/or add. I really appreciate your feedback and your time! Wishing you the best in the meantime :)

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