Hey, having played the demo, I have to say I love the concept for this game; the character designs are great, and the story has a lot of cool ideas behind it, so I’d really love to see it improve.
Sadly, I have one big criticism: I feel like the writer really needs the help of an editor. There’s a lot of confusing and downright weird word/sentence choices that make a lot of the dialogue painful to read. It almost reads like it’s been auto-translated from a foreign language, but it’s only available in English. Here’s a few bigger examples, although really the problem is everywhere:
- “Forceful […] winds all-you-can-eat-buffets their faces”
- “She checks her pocketwatch […] and finds that the cutoff comes at the apex of the next five minutes”
- “I’ve got a lot of orders I need to keep tabs on. Some of them could certainly be torqued a damn syllable tighter”
- “I want to ensure a full, hard, solo bunk”
- and a lot of “she lithes away” “she elegances around” and other tortured constructions
If this was fixed, which I recognise is a very big ask, I would definitely think about buying this game; but sadly in it’s current state I don’t think I can recommend it.