Honestly, thats alright, your songs are pretty great and the ideas are presented with care and effort. the fact that you were able to do this much along with your personal problems makes your songs all the more special.
Also you should read the summary of 1984, there's a whole lot of similarities with the final boss and the antagonist of the book.
no one ever seen "Big Brother" in the novel but he's in control of the entire world through complete manipulation, it's an incredibly interesting read