I think you did a pretty good job! I very much enjoyed the ending, and I liked the idea of her thinking back to her earlier life in a "how did we end up here" kinda vibe. My single piece of critique (besides maybe being a little too heavy-handed with some descriptions, which I think Buggritt covered pretty well and dont need to belabor it any further) I would say you didn't need to emphasize that we were reading a flashback as much as you did. Leading with a statement saying how she remembered/was thinking back on her past, and then one letting us know that she was turning her attention back to the present is probably all it would take, and it would prevent too much repetition of the same words and concepts.
That said, you did solid, Victor. Keep on keeping on, and I look forwards to reading your submissions in future Jams!