That's an excellent question, and thank you for the comment!
The Knights Numenarie did know the renegade machines were inside the Vault, they just didn't understand why the Robots wanted to unleash them, considering the machines are clearly hostile towards everything. So it was a question of them not understanding the motivations of their opposed force as opposed to not knowing what lay within the Vault.
Hopefully that makes sense?
The Last Omnitect
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Honestly, I really liked this.
I normally am not a huge fan of 1st person perspective, and there were a few minor grammatical issues here and there... but damn if I dont love me some complex situations and a great twist.
Seriously, I love the ending, and frankly, I think it speaks to what makes OPR's Grimdark Future setting so good: the people in this setting, whether they be robot, or alien hive or jackal or dwarf or human are people. Peace isnt impossible in Grimdark Future, just improbable. And this does such a good job of highlighting that.
Well done.
Thank you!
I love playing around with the transhuman angle, but yeah, I didn't want to just make a bunch of gruff, xenophobic, sociopathic fascists. It's actually why I like GRIMDARK FUTURE'S Brothers: they are PEOPLE. And that's fun to write and I think it gives us a lot of latitude to write something new!
And I'm glad I made something you enjoyed!
Thanks, Coombsy! I appreciate that! And yeah, making the conversational tone flow naturally while keeping it clear was a struggle for me, since so many clarifiers Id normally put in had to be weighed against the scene descriptors for the shorter runtime, and cutting them felt ROUGH. I did what I could, especially in the end with Joachim & Anterron curtly referencing each other in each exchange, but I know there were some parts, especially with each talking to their lieutenants that was tougher to catch.
Thank you for your constructive feedback, and for the compliments! This has been a blast, the community has been so welcoming and I cant wait to join the next Writing Jam with you all!
I think you did a pretty good job! I very much enjoyed the ending, and I liked the idea of her thinking back to her earlier life in a "how did we end up here" kinda vibe. My single piece of critique (besides maybe being a little too heavy-handed with some descriptions, which I think Buggritt covered pretty well and dont need to belabor it any further) I would say you didn't need to emphasize that we were reading a flashback as much as you did. Leading with a statement saying how she remembered/was thinking back on her past, and then one letting us know that she was turning her attention back to the present is probably all it would take, and it would prevent too much repetition of the same words and concepts.
That said, you did solid, Victor. Keep on keeping on, and I look forwards to reading your submissions in future Jams!
A solid read! I dont see much Space Elves literature, and with their recent release, I look forwards to reading more. I very much enjoyed the story, and the characterization of the elves. Too often I think Elves are written in the Tolkien style (which is great, dont get me wrong), where every single elf moves with unearthly grace and looks down their nose at everything.
Its refreshing to see you choose to write them as people, and I dig that. Pacing was solid, characterization was good, and you did a good enough job setting the scene that even a newbie to the faction could follow along. Good stuff!