The moment to moment writing isn't bad, but feels more like you're moreso telling what's happening instead of immersing us in the situation. Maybe you could increase the stakes- like, if this bombing mission doesn't work, bad things happen back home. Some simple tropes like that would give you a way to more eloquently "imply" the scenario than just having a character explain it to another. It might also help if you crank the suspense with some emotions like fear or blood-lust. Mountains, spiders, and bombs are all things that could play well into a horror perspective; or goblins and dwarves are pretty fun factions that might have fun dialog and rivalries to show off.
Keep at it, you've got really good inspiration, I would love to read more with some tighter story-telling fundamentals =)