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Just in case the feedback gets buried on discord, I’ve copied it over to here.

  • Having a cover page would’ve been a nice touch, the first page is a bit cluttered

    • The image on the front looks great! Having that as your cover background with your title and additional details on top would’ve be awesome!
  • Choice of font for primary headers is tough to read. I keep misinterpreting the “S” as a 1

    • Sorta looks like a number 1
  • Using tables instead of lists for your roll tables. I don’t think they would’ve used up any more space and would’ve helped communicate what dice needs to be rolled vs reading the list and inferring

    • Adding more emphasis (i.e. bold text) to important bits for skimmability.
    • Example: Local children have been reporting talking to a dead body, but when adults investigate it’s gone.
  • Important information in your random encounters table is sorta buried / easy to miss.

  • Having a map would’ve been nice. This reads like a point crawl so a map of nodes and edges would’ve been totally fine!

    • If it ever goes on sale, dungeon draft is a nice tool for making actual maps. I like to use the “dysonesque” plugin
  • Spacing around headings is taking up a lot of space, which accidentally used up a lot of your page count.

Overall, I think the adventure could be very fun to run and very straightforward. Look forward to seeing what you make next!