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(2 edits)

I'm loving the sounds and visuals, they really go well together. The art is bright and reminds me of my innocent youth, which was also filled with fantasies of helpful anthropomorphic animals. I'm not a "jolly" person, but I haven't always been this way; I am glad to come across this VN since I got to feel deeply happy for the first time in a long while. It has been therapeutic in a way, so thank you so much for making this VN!

Spelling and grammar could use some improvement. The sequence of events are perfect and mostly logical, the characters have solid motivations and personalities, however some moments pass much faster than others. I think your pacing needs work. This is definitely not meant to be a great work of fiction, made with great spectacle and intriguing plots, however what it succeeds at is storytelling and giving the audience a chance to perhaps relive a moment in their past in order to do/remember/wish things happened differently (the way James thinks/acts is commendable. Yes, kicking the poor Wolf's knees is not very nice... But he is a fighter, something I think all devout people are at their core, unless they are religious out of fear and just want peace in the afterlife. So yes, still a commendable character).

It's not for everyone, and some have reason to detest religion altogether since it has been used by the masses, an angry family member, the pope, or some psychotic person to justify hurting others and cover up their hatred. I'm of the mind you dont need a church, priest, or pope; your journey is between you and Christ. You can be upset with him, or depend on him at times. This VN helps to reconcile all those moments I was upset about someone dying, getting sick/hurt, losing a good job, needing to start life from scratch...etc So even if it is not a "great" VN, I am still giving it a 5 star. I needed this.

Thank ya means a lot to me, glad my work makes some people happy^^, wich parts ya would say, i could make the pacing better?

(1 edit)

Well pacing is just how much time you spend describing things, feelings, reaction...etc in a certain scene/moment. My advice, if a thing/feeling/reaction is important to the plot, you need to spend more time on it in order to provide all the context and make sure the reader is feeling the emotions you intended for some future plot point or scene.

It might be hard to balance pacing with storytelling properly since some scenes aren't really important to spend time on. Once again, after the party James mentions he had a bath at Dylus' house, however that never happened in your writing; he only wiped his sweat off after exercising that morning. If you can go back to that morning, all you need to do is give 1 sentence mentioning he had a bath before trying on his new clothes. Then again, he often exercises and also mentioned baths are good for healing, so if you like, you can draw a background and write some scenes. It's probably not important to the story, but it gives James an excuse to be in privacy and think about his role in the new world, so maybe readers would like that as we know what's going on inside his head. Then again, this might just be too much work for you or doesn't help with the story. You need to decide if spending more time on certain scenes will be important for the story and for the readers. As long as you are not leaving any holes (like the mysterious bath he took without us knowing) then your pacing will be fine.