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I really like that you did a noir for this, I had fun reading it, and the silly situations in the club are a fun clashing tone to traditional noir. Very fever-dream Lynchian. Well executed. It took me a minute to get used to the layout's flow, specifically the black text bubbles. I think it be easier to read if it were just bolded black text, but that's just my opinion.

(+1)

Thanks for the constructive criticism and the compliments! Love your old Renaissance pencil style in your work.

Thanks!