Let me start off by saying I truly love your works! My favorite is Weekend with a Stranger. I bought the PDF since the teases on your deviantart were so tantalizing. That being said I love seeing you take this new direction and I wanna give feedback so you can grow and continue to make awesome work like this. I'll start with what I really liked and go on to talk about what I think needs work.
Good:
- Concept. You nailed it with the main character covering up her BDSM hobby with the excuse that its from a video game she plays, and I liked the dynamic of two friends that knew the other was super into the BDSM stuff. Would love to see more concepts like "come over and help me get into cosplay"
- Frames. The poses and rendering were well done, and I was a big fan of her outfit. Personally I'm a huge latex fan so the padded jacket didn't do it for me but I loved the shiny fantasty :)
- Pace. There was just enough buildup for the tension to get high, and the payoff with her getting gagged and enslaved felt natural. The spiral into deeper and deeper bondage was great.
- Bugs/issues. I had none! No crashes, no malfunctions, no visual artifacts.
Needs Work:
- Animation. The animation of the walking: phenomenal. Hot af. I love the time and love that was put into it. The mesh distortion of struggling: a bit immersion breaking. It wasn't my favorite to see, as it seemed you could have replaced that animation beat with dialogue or a different frame. I'm not sure how I would do it differently, just that it broke my immersion. The animation of the sybian inserting: could have been better. I think it would be great to get a close up or an x-ray of those fun bits going in. The trend I see is that those effortful animations were top notch and really increased my enjoyment, but those that were not ended up coming off as lower quality
- Choices. When I downloaded this visual novel I was excited about the possibility of branching choices. I was a bit disappointed when I booted up the game to see that the story had no other path. I think it would be awesome to see different dialogue options and responses.
Having read your response to other comments on here, I see that you put tons of effort already into this format with more than double the amount of illustrations than normal. To put that into a visual novel from a comic is already an amazing deal for an enjoyer of your content like me. I think the price is fair for your situation and the work you put in, and in the future with improvements and more added features, I would pay more.