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(2 edits) (+1)

Praises

After going through the whole VN. I have to say I really like Pippa as a character and I jokingly hope I never meet her in my life. But I quite like how she is and how she interacts with the other characters.

I also like this OST so much. It really brings the mood up when there's no voice acting.

I also like how much the characters and the camera moves. This is a solo-dev writer and artist? Wow! Specially the dogs. So much done and I'd really guess not so many original images were used. I also liked the bird!

That librarian was morbidly funny, to me. Just the way she moves her book reminds me of those strict women featured in movies.

Extra

I have no idea what ATL you had issues with. It went fully smooth for me, except a single animation while on the street where she immediately straightens up in a snap.

The way that homeless just happened to have her book and MC was self-aware of how ridiculous that was really hilarious!

Faults

I really like the concept of the money+magic mechanic but I think it was quite underutilized. It's too easy to have money left and the punishment for doing wrong choices is quite limited. I feel like having tighter money would make it more interesting to the point to, for example, buying steak and giving money to the homeless guy, you only have enough to buy the energy bar near the end and cannot feed her in the intermediate meal.

There are some interesting plot holes I was able to get into... For example, with Mapo tofu and going cheap, I could get high 30's $ left and MC still talks about lack of money.

Ending 2 is interesting because if it was longer, it could evolve into Ending 3 after MC receives his salary no? Or am I seeing something wrong? (I like it, regardless)


That's what staid on my mind after reading. I liked it a lot. Thank you for making this! It made me a very fun morning.

This is a 8.5 out of 10 to me.

(+1)

Oooh, thank you for writing this thorough comment! :D I'm glad it made your morning fun!

Haha Pippa is a carefree airhead without a worry in her life. I have a lot of fun writing this kind of characters since (I don't know if you'd get this) it sometimes pleasantly surprises me how she would react to various things I would throw at her. I mean, I know I created her, but when I wrote her dialogues, I didn't plan anything, I just put her in various situations and let her react, hahaha...

The OSTs are amazing!! You should take a look at Dalton's page and see his other creations. Working with him was a joy!

OMG - you went to the library!! So many video playthroughs that I watched and no one went to the library hahaha >_< It was one of the least animated scene, but I loved it! The soundtrack is lovely and the librarian - as you mentioned - gave a hilarious dead-pan stare hahaha.

Aah I'm glad to hear that about the camera moves! I struggled so hard with it, I had a family member helped me figure out so many things with it since it frustrated me and I still had to do many other things. I don't know how to describe this without getting too long, but I had ATL issues of camera panning and zooming that keeps jumping around(?), I can describe more to you in DM if you're interested to know more though, but it's more or less okay now, I guess? Noone reported any bug so far haha (please keep it that way... lol...)

Aaah that money issue... Believe me, I was so worried about it! I only realised this huge plot hole (if I can say so?) at the end of the third week of Spooktober, as I started doing lots of coding and testing. I realised: "Wait a minute... I could spend all I want in food and I don't really have any consequences though??" and I panicked hahaha, like, no way - I only realised this now?? I looked back at the flowchart I made before and never did I care about heightening the urgency of MC's money, although I stressed in the beginning of the story about it's importance. It became a little bit weird if you overthink it... But with the Spooktober's time limit, I did my best to shoo that thought away and focus in polishing the build I was working on. ;-;

(If you have ideas about improving this without significantly rewriting the story, if not at all, let me know please!)

Ending 3 is supposedly the true ending! Ending 2 could have been longer and it felt unfinished, yes, but alas, time limit prevented me to write it further. 

Thank you so much for your time in writing this thorough review and letting me know about those points! I'll get back to this at some point in near future to rework on what can be done with as little rewriting as possible since I've already loved this VN so much as is! :D

(1 edit) (+1)

I got some ideas about improving the money. May I PM? Is Discord OK?

Yes of course!! :D