Post by Tristan Harris in Alex's Journey to the Grave comments

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No problem, happy to help.

I went back and listened to the track again and see (hear?) what you mean. The bassline and one of the other instruments going back and forth certainly convey a pounding headache.

The reason I think it doesn't quite fit is that the track is too aggressive and 'driven' for a moment where Alex is in a state of complete idleness. To me he seems to be continuing in the same state he has existed in for years with a "familiar dull headache". Maybe the music can intensify once Alex describes the "rapidly increasing pain" in his skull.

I don't want to be too much of an armchair composer for your game but I thought it was worth mentioning given how important the opening of a game is.

Violet Horizons44 days ago (3 edits) (+1)

Thanks for describing this further! And don’t worry, we’re always open to any type of feedback.

I might need to change some of the writing at the beginning of the game, because it sounds like the way his situation was portrayed to you is a bit different to what I intended.

I think you’re on to something and the “familiar dull headache” line in particular gives off more “idle and long-lived existence” than it should. I might try something along the lines of “A familiar dull ceiling hangs above my head, accompanied by a pounding headache that’s quickly threatening to become just as familiar.” (I can definitely still improve that more)

Tristan Harris44 days ago(+1)

Yes I think there is a bit of a contradiction at the beginning and your changes to fix that sound good.

If you do update the dialogue I would definitely try it out with some new players and see what they think. I may be just be projecting my own state of idleness lol.

itch.io

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