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I think you need to smooth out the edges of this project. Make the demo of this game a little better, fix the mistakes, and then write a couple chapters of the story. After that, publish a new demo.

- This is what I am doing atm. I am learning as I go, and trying to be as humble about the process as possible.

Regarding the story. I would advise you to write a backstory of the characters, at least the backstory of the MC at the beginning. Where he's from, who he is, where he's going, etc. At least briefly. Because right now it looks like two strangers met and went somewhere for unknown reasons, -Why? - Just because...

Let's say the protagonist can share his live story with Fox as they walk down the road. The fox might say something brief about himself in return. 

From my point of view it is important that at least something about the main character is known at the beginning of the game, otherwise it feels like a gap.

- I understand this critique. It's very valid. It may seem strange, but it was actually a conscious choice. Sure, some of the dialogue simply isn't realistic enough, and I will work on that. I was working under the assumption that the MC should fit the reader, and since I don't know the reader, I cannot assume too much about them. In doing so, I swung into another cul-de-sac - having a MC who is bland and one-dimensional.

You can write this VN, you did well for a start, don't give up)

- It may be a while before the next chapter, and rework of what's already here, but I'm working on things, thank you :)