Post by Raven in Penetrate the Veil [2]: Spoken Hearts comments

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I don't understand the main character at all...
In this setting I will accept she is someone with morals, for some unfathomable reason... clearly she isn't me... but how the heck can she mesh revenge with letting something so foolish stand in her way? /facepalm.

I hope her far more sensible teacher manage to talk some sense into her.

And here I hoped you might be at the very least ruthless, if not a villain. *sigh* I need to learn to not hope. Ever. Hope is always futile.

I love Ekam tho. ^_^
HIM I get.
(And he looks good.)

I AM happy you get a chance to choose for her tho.
And she seems more sensible after the choice. ^_^

I like the game, in general.
But it feels like it has a beginning and and end.... but no middle part.
It's very short.

Is this still under development?

And is the middle missing, or rushed over because this is the beginning of your antagonist origin story? ^_^

TuffMallow7 days ago(+1)

Reading comprehension saves lives.

This is a continuation to a 1 0 0 0 word game jam game with literally one asset in every feature. Simply looking at the developer's information and doing a little research could help a player understand why the game is "so short".

I like the protagonist. But then again I'm biased about liking imperfect MCs. It places me closer to the human psychology in storytelling.

But also.

Not every story with an off screen protagonist will be a full self insert for every human being that engages it and not every story will be a fully immersive Tolkien experience with fleshed out details to explain every aspect of the world and world building.

Some stories are simply a small trek into the small tale of two minds meeting. Sometimes even less.

We engage with stories for what is there. And to receive what is communicated from the writer's voice.

And those of us that can gain an understanding about the characters, the world, and the message, can also understand that sometimes, it's just not about us.

Namaste.

Raven7 days ago

Not a fan of saving lives. I'd rather be the villain.

But I admit I was really tired, and may have missed something when I tried to read what the game was about. lol
And I get why the game is sort short for that.
But why not make a sequel? ^_^
Because the concept is pretty damned good!

Mh. The MC isn't bad in-and-of themselves. As in; their overall personality is not bad.
I just dislike the clear and outspoken moralism.
I prefer to have a choice in how the MC respond to moral question --even if it's a false choice for flavor only.
(As may be obvious I'm pretty amoral myself. And morals are rarely practical. So moralistic MC's never fail to piss me off for being stupid.)

I suppose I do see your point about self-insertion.
But it does make the story more fun to read if you can actually choose certain pivotal reactions.

But ultimately it's your work, so it's your choice what to do, naturally.

I still think it's a good story idea that deserves a sequel.
And maybe one with more (a)moral choices. lol

Ursine Vision Atelier7 days ago(+1)

Hi there, dev here. This game was created for the 2024 One Single Choice Jam with a limitation of no more than 30 minutes of gameplay, so I had to work within the confines of those restrictions.

My game page doesn't say anything about ruthless choices or roleplaying as a villain, so I'm baffled as to why this is a problem because I don't believe I've been misleading at all. I don't think having goals of revenge necessitates that a person lack morals either.

Furthermore, from a short story perspective, there would be no points of conflict and interest if 'you' and Ekam didn't have differing opinions or a clash of moral codes -- that's what makes that ONE single choice meaningful.

For Ekam, there has only ever been 'you'. Though there was a period of separation, he believed that your paths would cross again. However, 'your' life has a clear split before and after reuniting with Ekam. 'You' cannot choose him so easily, and this is reflected in the single choice breakdown.

'You' can choose to give up your remaining reservations about taking revenge or abandon revenge altogether. Or 'you' can pick up a new life with Ekam by your side with either asking him to take your revenge for you, or do it together like how you use to do everything together in the past.

I hope this clarifies why the story may seem abrupt as I had little room to explicitly spell out everything that led up to the events of this game. I appreciate that you took the time to comment and play my game.

Raven7 days ago

Ah, I see.
I was really tired when I downloaded and played it, I may have misread something.
Or missunderstood because of the revenge thing.
That's on me.

If you ever decide to create a follow-up game that's longer, I'd love to see it tho.
I really love the concept.
The writing and artwork is very good as well.

itch.io

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