Not a super-fan of Apartment Nr. 9. The artwork especially.
Tunnel Vision was...eh.... I seem to recall the ending wasn't very good, and I couldn't find a good ending.
I'd say I like Lovestarved, but I'm clearly mixing it up with a different game. There may be more games by the same name out there.
(Or something wrong with my memory. 50/50) Not a superfan of sci fi, but I like neon colors, so I guess I'll check it out.
And I'll check out Limbo Line. It seems a bit mild, but you can't always tell how good a game is just from the warnings.
Yes.... I liked orange Blythe's balloon game. And treat. ^_^
I was just sad you ended up, well, ending the game over it.
I see no reason you wouldn't be able to continue your date. Which are annoying endings.
(If we had seen you dragged away by police-rabbits to the eternal funhouse with padded walls, THAT would make sense it's an ending.
If done right, that would actually have been an ending that seems like a happy one, but with a twisted darkness. Which would be nice.
But the current ending for that part doesn't so much as hint at what happens, which makes it just confusing.
It's one of the dangers with using the Unreliable Narrator style; It COULD have been real with the bunny magic and all that.
We don't know if he has magic or not for real. And that's a good thing, it means you did a good job, but it also means the ending needs a bit more reality breaking through to make the end feel more...final.)
Also... even if she got locked up it doesn't mean the end of Blythe. You cannot cure someone who doesn't want to be cured. That's a psychological fact. If her fantasies are in her head (and they could be) then no amount of medication can block them out.
(Plus Blythe would help her come up with tricks to not take them.)
In many ways it could be an ambiguous ending, that was happy or sad depending on how you view it.
(Kinda like the ending in Kaori Yuki's Boys Next Door.) Which actually makes for a great ending.
And it wouldn't take all that much more writing/drawing to show that type of ending. One scene being dragged away, a second with a tea-party seen from the eyes of a mental worker, where she is happy and talking to Blythe, would say it all.
Tho the runaway option where she sinks into Blythe's fantasy world could easily be added by ending the balloon scene with a choice where Blythe tells her to run as they see some 'evil cats' (or whatever) in police uniforms, and you can choose to run or talk, or succeed or fail at a chase scene. Spawning two endings from one, making the game better with low effort.
(More endings is always good. Just look at Particles of Reality. ^_^ )
If you made it in less than one month, that IS impressive.
I take months just to write a single fanfic chapter. lol
(But that's cuz I'm lazy and playing games instead of writing. ^_^; )
I think Blue's route could be a chance for you to attract those who like the darker side of yandere more tho.
(And/or use him as a medium for the MC's self-hatred. If you can pull off a more manipulative and mentally abusive story.
If done right, that's actually quite attractive to a lot of people --especially when overlaid with the yandere possessiveness. Where he takes care of you, make you rely on him and only him, and the whole story have so many dark rabbit-holes it could go down it's insane.)
I think that if you wanted to go down that path, Blue could push the MC into becoming more of a killer, more isolate, potentially committing suicide to be with him forever, be locked up (not my personal favorite, but some love it), and a whole other slew of Dark endings.
Because Orange contrasts him so much, you'd attract twice the amount of players, but catering to both the lighter and the darker side of the yandere trope.
You do what you want of course, but I think your plan is missing out on some great opportunities with Blue.
And if you need books on manipulation and manipulative men, just ask. I study psychology so I have plenty.
I don't remember if you have a "Warnings" part on your page or not.... but it's smart to have.
If you have separate warnings for the different Blythe's that will help the reader choose better too.
And speaking of choices... what's up with the singing voice choice at the start?
I can't see any difference in which one you choose, nor any impact difference.
Mh... I can recommend you to check out Brandon McNulty on YouTube.
He should have a video about how to properly use the Chekhov's gun technique.
Which should give you the subtle but later on "Ah-hah! I should have known!" moment that you're looking for.
It's tricky to balance subtlety with the reader catching it, because readers are so different.
Some catch your hints right away even when they're subtle, and others just can't see it.
Balance is tricky.
But having a good set of 'warnings' is actually hint enough of what to expect, without actually revealing the story details.
So that can help a lot.
Is there a guide to the game on your page?
It's something most readers appreciate to have access too --especially if they want to see all the endings.
(That, and some kind of achievement tab or the likes that names which endings is unlocked and which is not.)
And feel free to ramble as much as you want. I tend to do it myself too. lol
Especially when it comes to the art of writing. I'm a writer myself, however lazy I am.
It's always fun to talk about with someone as skilled at it as you. ^_^
I really hope you plan to write more on this story once you have the time tho.
I did end up enjoying this game far more than I would have expected.