Concepts & Originality 4/5
The story does an excellent amount of world-building in the short length. It's interesting and the detail is good! I haven't given it 5-stars only because the general premise and details don't seem to have strayed too far from 40k.
Flow and Clarity 3/5
I like that you went for something a little different and used present-tense, rather than past; I personally love the usage of present tense. There are a few places where some grammatical errors occur and past tense slips in where it shouldn't, but overall good. I think the use of different fonts/formatting for the dialogue is a bit excessive and distracts, rather than aids the story, but that is perhaps just personal preference and I may reevaluate it and kick this score up to 4/5 as a result.
Adherence to Theme 4/5
I think the story adheres to the theme well, with the characters creatively using the resources available to them to solve the conflict/problem. Absolutely nothing wrong here, I'm just reserving 5/5 for stories that absolutely ooze the theme.
If you want to discuss this feedback/these ratings, feel free to @ me on the OPR discord.