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Thanks! Yeah, I'm not particularly satisfied with the ending (or lack thereof) either. I was a bit overambitious with the scene concept and didn't have the time or motivation to completely restructure it after I realized I wouldn't have the space I needed, so it was reworked into a cliffhanger. The team didn't have enough time to complete their mission, and I didn't have enough words :P

Just wanted to chime in to say "no thanks to me," "to my feet," "mission critical," and "considered food," are all commonly used phrases and/or grammatically correct. If they fit the voice/style you're going for, I wouldn't change them.

Really neat concept, I like the characters and the premise. I think it would've worked better if the story began in the midst of the heist and the details of the plan were hinted at or inferred during the action; such a short format doesn't really leave space for a leisurely introduction.

I really like this. The characterization through dialogue is very good, the concept is interesting, and it flows well. I'm just not sure it leans into the theme very much outside of a brief comment about the lieutenant disregarded the contingency plan.

A great read, I think my favorite so far! I actually quite liked the repetition of "she remembered" throughout. It emphasizes to the reader that each memory is significant to Ravenna, and it's significant that she remembers them. There's a couple places where the wording is a little unwieldy, but with some slight refinement, it would be perfect.

Thanks! I am a sucker for a bit of action, so I figured I'd try to make it work.

Thanks for the feedback, I really appreciate it! I'll have to see if I can edit it to be more clear in the future.

Glad you enjoyed it!

Good story! I think the multiple perspective changes is a little disorienting, especially in such a short scene, but it still read pretty smoothly overall. Jamming an entire battle into 1000 words ain't easy, so nice work.

I like the concept, a veteran ganger recalling a heist gone wrong is gold! But, I think it could use a good editing pass to clean it up and help it flow smoothly. The pacing is a bit off and there are some awkward phrasing and spelling mistakes that could be cleaned up.

I enjoyed it quite a bit! I think the change of point of view from Belendir to Rissien halfway through the scene was a bit disorienting, but that's probably easily by adding a break to indicate the change in perspective/scene.

Thanks!

Thank you!

A great read! Interesting concept that starts strong and flows well. The ending felt slightly rushed to me, but that's kinda to be expected with a 1000 word limit.

I really enjoyed this! The style drew me in and I think it fit the theme very well. It makes me want to throw some vampiric undead and downtrodden rebels on the tabletop.

Thanks! The ending had to be rewritten a couple times to fit the word limit, so I'm very happy it seems to have turned out well.

Thanks for the feedback and taking the time to read the story, I really appreciate it! My intent was to convey how down-to-the-wire the mission was. It's very possible, likely even, they don't have enough time to escape anymore, at least not the way they intended.

You are far, far too kind! I had to end it on a cliffhanger to get under 1000 words, unfortunately.

Thanks! It took a few attempts to get under that word limit...

Thanks, I really appreciate it!

Thanks!

Nice work! The story was interesting, on theme, and had quite enjoyable characterization and banter between the two lead characters. My only real critique is that there are a few grammar issues and shifts between past, present, and future tense throughout the story, which effects the flow of the narrative. However, that should be fixable with a quick editing pass.

The story was interesting and evocative, but it definitely felt like it was written to be a 40k story, rather than taking place in the OPR setting. Though, I think that could be largely fixed by changing some wording/minor details (Promethium, Hellhounds, etc).

Thanks! It is very nice to hear that the story "worked".

Thanks! I really appreciate the kind words.

Glad you liked it! As soon as I saw the jam theme I went "Darn, whatever I write is going to have a sad ending, isn't it?"

Thanks! My first draft was actually under the 500 word minimum by a bit and I felt like a student trying to pad out an essay's word count to get it over 500 without "ruining" it. :P 

It was the opposite problem I thought I would have...

I really love the exploration of the Prime Brothers and how well you fleshed out the culture of the detachment in such a limited time, as well as the structure of the story. High marks overall from me! My only criticism is that I'm not sure 1000 words was enough to really effectively setup Sunan's eventual disillusionment. Just a limitation of the format, I think.

Thank you very much!

Thank you very much! 

Thank you for the kind words! I hope they serve you well on the tabletop.

Howdy! 

As written, ranged attack rolls are not modified by any character skill. My intention was to represent fast, desperate fighting in confined spaces where aim doesn't really matter so much as who puts the most lead/laser/plasma downrange the quickest. So I didn't think such a skill was necessary. Though, feel free to add a "Marksmanship" skill if you think it makes sense and would suit your game better. 

Thanks for considering the system! If you do run it, I'd love to hear how it goes.

Hello, and thank you! It's always great to hear that someone finds the random things I make interesting. I really appreciate the feedback and that you took the time to highlight it in the video.

This artwork is amazing. 

I can’t speak to Cult of the Reptile God specifically, but there are a handful of things that may need consideration. (Apologies for the wall of text to follow)

Mechanically, monster stats will need some slight tweaking, as AotT uses ascending AC rather than the traditional descending and AC/To-hit bonuses don’t necessarily scale the same as the class/monster attack matrices of old. AotT also has quite simplistic character advancement that doesn’t require gathering gold for XP, so treasure is far less important to the PC and you might consider using “milestone” advancement to ensure the PC levels at about the same pace as the adventure expects (or tack a Gold = XP system onto AotT for the PC and retainers). 

Additionally, there is the the lack of magic-using characters in AotT, which may not matter in low level adventures where 1st level magic-users traditionally don’t have much magic to use, but may be a problem in ones which expect the party to have access to magic abilities. This could be circumvented by the addition of Tech items which perform a similar role to a particular spell/ability. Likewise, magic items present in an adventure could be re-flavored as tech or kept as-is depending on preference, with the Decipher Text skill substituted in to read magic scrolls, and Use Tech to intuit how to use a particular wand. Perhaps a character versed in Runic or Ecclesiastical can simply read and use scrolls as a magic-user or cleric?

Depending on the particular adventure, the Subtlety mechanic may or may not apply at all. In an adventure like Against the Cult of the Reptile God, it could be used to determine if the cult members realize the PC is getting a little too curious and decide to deal with them, or are too oblivious or proud to realize the threat they pose.

Finally, consider that while a 1st level Thone Agent and retainers should be mechanically similar to a party of 1st level adventurers, it’s still only a single player navigating the adventure. Puzzles and challenges that might be trivial to a group of 3 or 4 players, able to bounce ideas off each other and come up with creative solutions, may not be to a single player alone. They might be able to “brute force” some problems with skill rolls, but there may be times where they just get stuck and need a gentle nudge from one of their retainers or another NPC.

Thanks for checking out the game, and if you do end up running Agent of the Throne, please let me know how it goes!

On behalf of myself and the others that helped make the game, thank you very much! You are far too kind and I appreciate your words immensely. 

Once again, thank you for hosting the jam. I have far too many ideas that never amount to more than some messy notes in a word document, but this provided the motivation to actually make something playable. It was an absolute blast and the limited time was helpful, strangely enough. There were plenty of ideas and details I wanted to include but didn't have the time to (encumbrance, exploration procedures, etc.), but I think the game may be better for it. At the very least, it's far cleaner and less confusing than it may have been.

I hope to update it in the future with additional enemies, art, and perhaps write some adventures/investigations for it, but I'm probably getting ahead of myself.

Perhaps the game is not listed as public/published, so it's there, but no one can access it?

Thank you for hosting the jam; its been fun frantically putting a game together!

Discord messaging would be far more convenient for me, if that's fine with you.

Thank you! I've been sketching a handful of minis lately, just haven't taken the time to format and upload them. I'd be happy to chat about some custom minis!