One of the best of the jam! There's a few places where it stumbles (did you originally write it in past tense and then change it to present tense, missing a few spots? Or is past tense just what you're used to, and it crept in through force of habit), but not in a way that impacts my enjoyment of the piece.
The character work was a real highlight for me; you created two fleshed-out (well, by some definition of flesh) characters and bounced them off each other with dialogue that feels natural and actions that feel believable.