Nice work fitting in two complete threads within the word limit! I wonder if breaking the stories up and telling them a bit more in parallel (rather than one at a time) would increase the tension?
Also I kind of wanted to read the ending from Jahro’s side instead of from Sgt Vansen - that way you could have a sort of “triumph to tragedy” roller coaster, where as from Vansen’s side there was almost a sense of… I don’t know, maybe indifferent satisfaction?