I have absolutely no idea what this is about. It's all too surreal for my simple brain. I have managed to find 4 of the 5 treasures using a combination of brute force and trial and error. All I know is that I need a key to enter the publisher's office (which is presumably the treasure room), but I can't find the key. The only hint that I've found is when I TALK TEACHER and he/she says "The key is inside of you". I don't even know if that's relevant.
The game is so buggy that I don't even know whether responses are appropriate or not. Sometimes things work, sometimes they don't and sometimes they work repeatedly when they shouldn't.
Overall, I found this to be a very depressing game with all sorts of negative emotions. Anyway, here's my review comments from what I've seen so far.
I played version 0.1.0.
The itch.io page is pretty dull. See how-to-make-your-itchio-game-page-more-appealing.
Consider adding a title screen to make it more appealing to potential players.
Consider changing the colour scheme from the default TWO colour scheme, just so that it looks different. See how-to-come-up-with-a-game-idea-q-a.
Consider replacing the default CREDITS command with the ABOUT GAME command that is currently used. You can still see the system credits using *CREDITS.
Consider overriding the default system HELP, as this responds with more than six words.
Add full stops at end of sentences in responses.
The cycling background messages in most rooms get very annoying very quickly and detract from the minimalism that the jam is aiming for. You only need to provide them once. In fact, I'd be happy if they weren't there at all, as they don't seem to provide any value to the game.
Some location descriptions are longer than two words, contrary to jam rules, and some have a full stop at the end.
Sometimes you use the first person singular (e.g. "I spend 40+ hours here") and sometimes you use the second person singular (e.g. "You were a real writer here"). Use one or the other and keep it consistent.
Can't DRINK COFFEE.
Can't READ anything legible such as gibberish, rejection letter, notepad and first draft.
When examining things, don't repeat what we already know, e.g. X DOOR, X GIBBERISH, X HAMSTER.
There is no exit to the north of the first room and no hint that there is an exit to the north. There is a door in an unknown direction that can't be opened and a background message that tells us the publisher's office is north, but I originally interpreted that as being a general clue, not a specific clue about the door. The latter should have been offered when I examined the door. When I tried to go north, it told me "You need a key." Aha! In a convoluted way, I had eventually found out that the door is to the north. But I can't OPEN/CLOSE DOOR and it doesn't understand LOCK/UNLOCK DOOR, so I don't know how I'm going to unlock it even when I do find the key.
If the phone is ringing, the background processing (in on_describe or on_tick) should tell you so, as that's quite an intrusive thing. You shouldn't have to find that out by examining it.
The phone continues ringing after you answer it.
It doesn't understand HIT, BREAK, SMASH.
When you X AGENT, TALK BARTENDER, TALK PARENTS and other non-player characters, their responses should be in double quotes.
"2$" should be "$2".
You can't BUY DRINK, even though responses are encouraging you to do that.
Every time you GET CLEANUP, MANAGE or PROCRASTINATE, job keeps reappearing. Use has_not_created to avoid this.
If you GIVE JOB to parents, it says "That's more like it", but nothing happens. Is that supposed to be meaningful?
Every time you GIVE GIBBERISH to boss, advance keeps reappearing. Once again, use has_not_created to avoid this and/or destroy gibberish, as you're probably finished with it.
Every time you TALK CHEERLEADER, hamster reappears.
"Long time no see" should be "Long time, no see."
To sum it all up, GIVE GIBBERISH to parents. (If you've played the game, you'll know what I mean.)