Once I got the hang of the changing rooms, objects and so on, I really enjoyed this one! A fair few 'stuck points' where I had to try everything, but I got there in the end. Short and sweet.
One thing - if you repeat the puzzle solution to find a treasure, the treasure moves from your inventory to the room as if it's only just been created.
I have absolutely no idea what this is about. It's all too surreal for my simple brain. I have managed to find 4 of the 5 treasures using a combination of brute force and trial and error. All I know is that I need a key to enter the publisher's office (which is presumably the treasure room), but I can't find the key. The only hint that I've found is when I TALK TEACHER and he/she says "The key is inside of you". I don't even know if that's relevant.
The game is so buggy that I don't even know whether responses are appropriate or not. Sometimes things work, sometimes they don't and sometimes they work repeatedly when they shouldn't.
Overall, I found this to be a very depressing game with all sorts of negative emotions. Anyway, here's my review comments from what I've seen so far.
I played version 0.1.0.
The itch.io page is pretty dull. See how-to-make-your-itchio-game-page-more-appealing.
Consider adding a title screen to make it more appealing to potential players.
Consider changing the colour scheme from the default TWO colour scheme, just so that it looks different. See how-to-come-up-with-a-game-idea-q-a.
Consider replacing the default CREDITS command with the ABOUT GAME command that is currently used. You can still see the system credits using *CREDITS.
Consider overriding the default system HELP, as this responds with more than six words.
Add full stops at end of sentences in responses.
The cycling background messages in most rooms get very annoying very quickly and detract from the minimalism that the jam is aiming for. You only need to provide them once. In fact, I'd be happy if they weren't there at all, as they don't seem to provide any value to the game.
Some location descriptions are longer than two words, contrary to jam rules, and some have a full stop at the end.
Sometimes you use the first person singular (e.g. "I spend 40+ hours here") and sometimes you use the second person singular (e.g. "You were a real writer here"). Use one or the other and keep it consistent.
Can't DRINK COFFEE.
Can't READ anything legible such as gibberish, rejection letter, notepad and first draft.
When examining things, don't repeat what we already know, e.g. X DOOR, X GIBBERISH, X HAMSTER.
There is no exit to the north of the first room and no hint that there is an exit to the north. There is a door in an unknown direction that can't be opened and a background message that tells us the publisher's office is north, but I originally interpreted that as being a general clue, not a specific clue about the door. The latter should have been offered when I examined the door. When I tried to go north, it told me "You need a key." Aha! In a convoluted way, I had eventually found out that the door is to the north. But I can't OPEN/CLOSE DOOR and it doesn't understand LOCK/UNLOCK DOOR, so I don't know how I'm going to unlock it even when I do find the key.
If the phone is ringing, the background processing (in on_describe or on_tick) should tell you so, as that's quite an intrusive thing. You shouldn't have to find that out by examining it.
The phone continues ringing after you answer it.
It doesn't understand HIT, BREAK, SMASH.
When you X AGENT, TALK BARTENDER, TALK PARENTS and other non-player characters, their responses should be in double quotes.
"2$" should be "$2".
You can't BUY DRINK, even though responses are encouraging you to do that.
Every time you GET CLEANUP, MANAGE or PROCRASTINATE, job keeps reappearing. Use has_not_created to avoid this.
If you GIVE JOB to parents, it says "That's more like it", but nothing happens. Is that supposed to be meaningful?
Every time you GIVE GIBBERISH to boss, advance keeps reappearing. Once again, use has_not_created to avoid this and/or destroy gibberish, as you're probably finished with it.
Every time you TALK CHEERLEADER, hamster reappears.
"Long time no see" should be "Long time, no see."
To sum it all up, GIVE GIBBERISH to parents. (If you've played the game, you'll know what I mean.)
Hey Gary, thanks for all the feedback! Would you mind if I use this quote when talking about "Submission"? "Overall, I found this to be a very depressing game with all sorts of negative emotions." Honestly, I love it!
The game's far from perfect, but I'm also far from a coder. Everything is gibberish!
I remember you saying that you're not a coder. Taking that into consideration, you haven't written a bad game, it just needs a bit of work. You're certainly on the right track. As a writer, you probably appreciate the need for clarity, even if the game is a bit on the surreal side.
Anyway, stay safe and come back for the next jam - the one that Chris said won't happen.
For the fifth treasure, you need to use the hourglass somewhere - I think in the living room with the parents?
The key is found in the creative writing session, either by giving the gibberish or the first draft to the teacher. Sorry, I played this one a few days ago so I can't remember exactly what I did, but it was definitely one or the other.
By the changing rooms and objects, I meant that you have to find something (can't remember what) before you can access the creative writing session - before that, whether you go east or west from the living room, you end up in the 'back in high school' location. I assumed this was for trippy atmosphere, but maybe it's a bug?
Hey Dee, thanks a lot for giving me feedback and I'm glad you had fun. This is the first time I've coded anything and have had a fair bit of trouble with codes that involved printing a string and creating an item at the same time, and the bug you're telling me about is probably due to that. I'm not sure if this is me or a bug on Adventuron's side. I'm basically an idiot when it comes to coding things myself from scratch.
Being a writer and narrative designer primarily, this was a great jam and a great project to do for fun. I'm not going to do any rework on this, for now - I'm too stressed due to COVID quarantines and with surviving a 5.5 quake just last week - my brainpower is really limited atm. I'm trying to get back to creating fun stuff for me and for others, but not quite sure when.
Anyway, thanks a whole lot! You've surely made my day in these trying times!
