"Too bad you couldn't finish the game, the story kinda dragged my interest. Even tho it ended right when it started to get interesting. Though, writing a dark story is hard to handle bcs ppl usually don't want to feel these negative emotions and think about these problems. But there are some ways to make the story intriguing and interesting so it would keep readers\players in it."
Sad thing is... I really want this done from start to finish with an open opinion thru the entire game before I can really finalize its potential. *I never got a chance to add in Itsumi waifu in this game... furry waifu...*
****SPOILER ALERT****
"First of all, the bullying scene was very implausable . Joey's behavior feels so unnatural that its even hard to be mad at him bcs he acts like a paid actor. He used this complicated insidious scheme, broke several laws and risked getting a jail sentence just to get a revenge on a little girl that outsmarted him? I know humans may be unreasonably cruel but this certain scenario seems very unrealistic. In this case Joey didn't need to resort to any complicated schemes bcs his victim is just a little girl that can't fight back."
Some kids and teens nowadays get away scot-free from consequence just cause they think they are invincible, or they just don't care about it. As an example... five teens threw rocks on the freeway and killed a man driving home... which btw that actually did happen in real-life... This story is 100% fictional and made up. None of this is real.
"Second, the cutscene was very long. Mostly it's bcs Joey's plan was unnecessary long. And you could make dialogs shorter, some things they discuss barely make any sense (I mean in general not only in this cutscene)."
You're the third person to address this issue, so I'll figure out a way to shorten it, or at least have the her deal with her tragic past in the VR game test as she progress in the VR world with an one flashback scene per encounter. I'll try the Batman walks thru the dark alley approach.
"Third, why did you use the same face image for every girl of young age? Not only they look the same it also makes them look like emotionless dolls. You should've use different face images to show different emotions and make them look younger but not similar."
As much as I really want a different young girls' face change... the kid section generator is limited to one asset only choice which is why I'm using the default. As much as I really want a different face expression, I am forced to use the only default choice...
"In summary, you need to write angst story that way so the problems that character has to deal with were realistic and relatable. Characters should show their emotions to make everyone feel what they're feeling. And lastly, strive to tell the story and drag ppl into it before they lose interest bcs of how long the intro is."
"As a freelancer would say, "I just need some more time." but yeah, I'll get to it. The flashback is the only issue where the beginning is sorta of short, so it's the flashback where couple have said it's pretty long which I don't blame them since this is my first time making an actual JRPG story... I just want that 2nd character show her tragic backstory and move on to the actual gameplay, story, and plot ofc. Hence forth, I don't want to make another "Just Another RPG Maker Game" brought to by Echo607's video clip." v_v