Too bad you couldn't finish the game, the story kinda dragged my interest. Even tho it ended right when it started to get interesting. Though, writing a dark story is hard to handle bcs ppl usually don't want to feel these negative emotions and think about these problems. But there are some ways to make the story intriguing and interesting so it would keep readers\players in it.
****SPOILER ALERT****
First of all, the bullying scene was very implausable . Joey's behavior feels so unnatural that its even hard to be mad at him bcs he acts like a paid actor. He used this complicated insidious scheme, broke several laws and risked getting a jail sentence just to get a revenge on a little girl that outsmarted him? I know humans may be unreasonably cruel but this certain scenario seems very unrealistic. In this case Joey didn't need to resort to any complicated schemes bcs his victim is just a little girl that can't fight back.
Second, the cutscene was very long. Mostly it's bcs Joey's plan was unnecessary long. And you could make dialogs shorter, some things they discuss barely make any sense (I mean in general not only in this cutscene).
Third, why did you use the same face image for every girl of young age? Not only they look the same it also makes them look like emotionless dolls. You should've use different face images to show different emotions and make them look younger but not similar.
In summary, you need to write angst story that way so the problems that character has to deal with were realistic and relatable. Characters should show their emotions to make everyone feel what they're feeling. And lastly, strive to tell the story and drag ppl into it before they lose interest bcs of how long the intro is.