Omg the humour XD, had a good laugh with some of the jokes here ! Also i liked the gameplay, the top down combat felt simple enough to handle quickly, and very responsive, i like how you have the temples double as healing zones as well as save zones with the legacy system you have, i also like that you made different races with different attack methods hp counts etc...
Regarding the wildcards i guess that the general humorous tone of the game counts as a snarky narrator, i found the hidden dog :D, which doubles as a hidden passage, and passage of time is there with the aging/legacy mechanics, so good job there on implementing all 4 cards :o
So congrats overall, solid game :)