"Hello, I think you are doing a good job at learning to use RPG Maker MZ and I'd encourage you to keep going and keep learning, some stuff in your game could work but uhh I felt in this current state it's overall actually quite messy and confusing. Some stuff was good and made some sense, and some stuff if developed upon could work."
[Yea... I skipped ahead of the beginning of the game's story about some characters with their names mentioned only... I ended up starting at the very end game's sad but true ending portion... Supposedly, the main characters' transformations died on their own story path...]
"I don't know much about Echo's game but I know enough to know you were saying something with it, and I had to look at the comments and other feedback you received to assume it's not positive. Some dialogue I read asking me if I know her as well to see that apparently it was negative what you were saying made me feel a bit sad. If you want to create an antihero duplicate why not create your own fictional one instead? Because mentioning Echo at all was weird. If that's the case that this was negative like the feedback I'm reading says and the way it look to me, my advice is not to do that I don't really understand enough to say anymore on that topic, but it sounds like that's something to get rid of or turn in a completely different direction."
[Well, it's supposed to be about her game crossing over with another game. Gameception at its finest over a crossover... Purpose of the main character is that he's falsely accused of the pedophilia of children in a deadly online game filled with convicts, rapists, killers, pedos, and so forth from a bloodsucking vampire game dev... His purpose is to collect blood data for long lasting hunger cravings or metabolism to his own kind. So what to do... bring every living beings from different dimensional world. Also, Echo is an expert of gaming rpg and knows how to draw which is why ??? needs her help by kidnapping her and forcing her to do stuff... What choice does a protagonist need to do to survive against bounty hunters and gamers? Sorry if I never bother adding those ideas to make it more clearer than before... D:]
"Anyway, I can only really comment on the story and gameplay. It feels like it had potential and it's not necessarily wrong to cover a mature theme, but I don't like how it's handle here it feels a bit weirdly done to me. The mature theme would need to be covered in a way that we either aren't uncomfortable, or if we are mean to feel uncomfortable it need more maturity to the mature theme if that makes sense?"
[Biggest fear... saying the word pedophilia... most words get censored and audience don't want to hear or see them... which is understandable...]
"The ideas of characters in servers is fine, and you really can have as many characters as you want, but they need to be introduced properly with proper reasons, motives, goals to be in the story and they need to be able to interact with each other well. As readers and players we need enough time to at least understand the more important ones and we need to understand the playable characters and it's just too messy at the moment. You don't have to reveal too much all at once, I'm not meaning or saying that, but you do need to give them a bit more life and reveal something more about them, your choice what you choose."
[Online servers = Freelancer's planets in every galaxy. Four of the characters are the same person just a split persona since the main character decided to mess around the drawing tablet and duplicating himself with four separate personalities. Would like to make a full game tbh... Would like to introduced them properly if it wasn't a 2 week project given a lesser than a day project... -__-]
"I think you can improve upon this a lot and then you can create something really good, and I recommend you listen to feedback and advice everyone else has given you as that'll help you a lot too, so I wish you the best of luck forward. Remember that we want some sort of entertainment when it comes to the writing, characters need to surprise us or not but make us laugh or not but at least leave us curious to keep playing, something like that, and you've done it in some scenes but I think the story as a whole needs a lot more changing."
[Again if I didn't mention it... I skipped the beginning and went to the end with short little time...]
"On the gameplay side of things, the skillsets, well it's good to give the player quite a few choices and different skills but they need a bit more balancing or a reason to use each one at different points of a battle / different battles. It's also a little bit messy as it is. Mapping is also everywhere, some maps like your pub area were good."
[I'm still messing about how to make my dumb main guy know how to transform and revert back when the battle is done, but... I get same result of... nope try again dude... T_T]
"Some maps looked half good but not finished in terms of details and more borders, and then some maps like the forest area were a bit messy. It's good some of your maps are good and I think to me that shows me the messier maps you can truly make better already, but if really not some more learning and I believe you can do."
[Mapping and paralaxing aren't my strongest points...]
"You left an impression on me, but mostly a confused one, and that really isn't in a good way overall. Still there were some enjoyable moments in your game, and I enjoyed some moments in it. So I hope this can help you. Good luck going forward! : )"
[Angry Tourettes Me: Whatever... *Insert bad word.*]
