Mechavaliers - Is that pronounced meh-cavaliers?
First impressions: Just looking at the side-bar on the left I initially thought Yeti, Hobgoblin and Archangel was my party of adventurers, but after reading the intro text I understood these were my objectives. I felt like I understood what the objectives were and which shop was going to solve each.
fright elevator - typo (or is it?). I'd be happy to do a proof-read for typos and grammar when you're closer to finishing.
Good scene-setting, feels like grimy cyberpunk. Enjoyed the writing, little bits of humour are good.
Grosz - new-looking mech - expressed an interest in it, obviously dodgy - offered job but the job sounded like the one I already have, just dodgier. Grosz could make more of a sell on it, make it clear that the player's position is at the bottom and being a scout pilot is a big step up.
I thought Bolter was more relaxed when I returned to the hangar than at the start and when I called her.
I got the good ending after playing it through four times, the first time losing two pilots, the second time losing only one pilot, third time I took Grosz' mech and got the ending with Bolter and a bullet, fourth time all the pilots survived. Played through a few more times without anything obviously wrong.