Here's some things that I'm wondering: how is the pacing/writing? Is it interactive enough? Is it boring? Is the introduction too rushed? Sorry about the incompleteness!
hi kaz!
I think the pacing is great — not too rushed or too slow, although I did find myself craving slightly more detail sometimes. This is in part because your narration has some slight similarities to the original text (retrospective framing, sharing bits of knowledge in advance that the character doesn't know yet), and that primed me for a similar writing style — however, I may be in the minority on this! The introduction wasn't too rushed for me, although if you want to give the POV character a more distinct voice or personality, that would be a good place to expand. No pressure to do that, though, as I think a relatively blank slate POV character works well here.
- jess
Very engaging pacing!! I feel like each passage leaves just enough mystery, and inspires just enough curiosity, for me to want to click each option... that being said, if you're trying to do the entire plot of the book, the party seems out of scope (too detailed) The writing itself is very engaging and the choices are interesting, but I want to get to new places just a little bit quicker. Also, just a small proofreading note: certain sentences/paragraphs are a bit redundant. This is more of a nitpick than anything.