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Thanks so much for your feedback, we really appreciate it!! (and thank you so much for letting us know about the claimed music, this was news to us ;o;)

I LOVE THE GRAPHICS THEY ARE SO BEAUTIFUL u are amazing

hi i like this game

I love these little guys!

I felt like the scene was set well, both with the background drawing and monologue for context. The (really cool!) face drawings seemed like a dissociation, which helped convey the familiar zoom-class emotion. I think having the beginning be quieter (or have no music at all) would make the music you do keep feel more impactful, because breaking silence with music indicates that something suspenseful is going on. I liked the choice of staring out the window or continuing to pay attention to class, because it felt important. But it felt like the class was the same length as the prelude, which was strange because the zoom class seems more important. It might help to add another choice during the zoom class, maybe? even an expressive one. I think something strange is definitely going to happen, maybe with time? like a huge lapse of time will suddenly pass, to the protagonist's dismay. I first got this feeling from being late to the zoom class (nice touch!).

The format was so interesting! I thought it was wonderful how I started out in a real, grounded world, and slowly entered the dream-state. The way you used the text effects and formatting helped to set the scene very well. My favorite part was the dream sequence, and the calendar app conversation. If you want to continue working on this: I think the beginning can have less details. Once I get to the calendar app conversation, I feel like the real game has begun. And the loops of clicking to refresh the news page, or to push through the crowd, feel like they're stuck, and I had to go back a few passages to get the story going again. Hopefully this is an easy fix! It seems like a coding error.

Super engaging characters! I enjoyed interacting with your world (first with dialogue, then with Dorian's inner thoughts) and I could feel him spiraling into insanity as his thoughts became more fragmented. If you want to continue working on this: I think there's certain parts at the beginning that still feel exposition-y, and could be cut down just a tiny bit more. Towards the end, I think you struck a great balance of what details are most impactful to describe (great character description and painting metaphors).

Like I said last week, you've done a wonderful job of hitting the mark on the tone you're going for, and the annoyance/pessimism of the characters contrasts well with the whimsy of your setting. You set up an intriguing wonderland (literally) that I want to spend more time in! Again, (I assume since you're going to continue working on it) I think adding a couple more expressive choices will help it feel more interactive, and give Adelaide a bigger role in the story.

Very engaging writing! I think this story was a nice length, and the imagery was wonderfully worded & vivid enough to paint a good picture. If you want to continue working on this game: I'd enjoy seeing more choices along the way, even if they're just single-option choices to break up the text. Also, I think the accept/reject/deflect format would be helpful to use, especially if it's difficult to come up with options. Fortunately, your writing was fun and interesting to read, so it wasn't too frustrating to not have so many choices (though I think more would be beneficial no matter what.)

I'm getting a dreamy mood with darker undertones, which I assume is what you're going for! Actually, I think a large part of that mood is coming from character dialogue. The other characters all seem to be bitter, nihilistic, or always slightly annoyed at adelaide, and having that contrast with the whimsical-feeling atmosphere is working great. The protagonist's internal dialogue, and the few choices she can make, seem to be apathetic/passive or annoyed. If I had to guess, it seems like you're wanting to lean towards having your diversity of choices be in that range, but you haven't quite implemented that. So I think sprinkling in some expressive choices along the way will bring out her character a lot more!

I think the protagonist's consistency is largely up to the player's decisions, which is good if that's what you're going for. I've never read the book, but I am familiar with Oscar Wilde's writing, and I can see his voice in this game, especially with your dialogue. As far as choices go, I felt like my options were pretty good, honestly. And the pacing was just a little bit on the slow side, like I was staying on the same subject (i.e. what clothes to wear at the beginning) for longer than I'd like. Otherwise, the dialogue & narration flows nicely!

Very engaging pacing!! I feel like each passage leaves just enough mystery, and inspires just enough curiosity, for me to want to click each option... that being said, if you're trying to do the entire plot of the book, the party seems out of scope (too detailed) The writing itself is very engaging and the choices are interesting, but I want to get to new places just a little bit quicker. Also, just a small proofreading note: certain sentences/paragraphs are a bit redundant. This is more of a nitpick than anything.

QUESTIONS FOR FEEDBACK

How do you feel about the choices and options? are there too many/ too few of a certain kind? Do you feel like you have agency in the story? How about big text walls- Is there too much text in each passage?

QUESTIONS FOR FEEDBACK:

How do you feel about the choices and options? are there too many/ too few of a certain kind? Do you feel like you have agency in the story? How about big text walls- Is there too much text in each passage?