itch.io

(if the black ball gets stuck, please refresh. the chances of success are high but not 100%, thank you and sorry!)

I was confused about what order to read the text when I got to the hallway with white and orange text. I would say at the beginning of the game maybe build up to the hallway (or a part of the game like that hallway) a little more slwoly and have smaller conversations first that let the player have a better idea of how to read the words, if that makes sense? I really liked choosing your response by walking into a certain room (like Hello or Sorry) unless I'm misunderstanding that part haha. Overall, navigating the game wasn't too confusing! I think just introducing the player to how the text works a little more slowly before throwing them into the hallway of it would be beneficial. but the idea is really interesting, and I think the sound effects, music, and overall font/look of the game goes really well together, I'm excited to see the finished version!

This was so much fun to play. I loved how wild the choices were, and yes I HAVE to mention the pee your pants option again because it made me lose it. I love that part. I didn't really know who Arsene Lupin was before but now I am a big fan of him because of your game, so I think it was very successful. I also liked how the try again option let you go back to your previous choice, so you don't have to play through everything again to get to that point. 

Also, this game has insane replayability because of how genuinely interesting every choice is. Awesome job, I really enjoyed this!

I really liked the plot and how active the choices were. Especially during the fighting choices - I liked being able to choose violence or not, and it felt like I had a lot of agency during them. Though it's true they weren't very common throughout the story - so more choices like that might help.

The world was also really interesting. I think you could definitely dive a little deeper into the lore of the city because I'm genuinely interested in it, like what Alekai said.  Also, I think that you could probably split some of the passages up into separate pages, since I felt like the passages got a little bit long at times and tended to feel less like a game and more like a story. 

There were a few minor spelling errors but nothing that I couldn't understand. Overall, really good job, and I had a fun time playing through this game.

I really liked the plot and writing in this game. It was interesting how you didn't just control the main character, you had the opportunity to control the entire narrative and story and manipulate every character in some way, and gave me a big feeling of agency. I had to take the time to think about every choice I made because it really did feel like each choice was going to affect the story in a big way. That was a refreshing touch. The visual effects were pretty nice too, though I would suggest changing the main story font and color to something a little less grey and thin just for legibility purposes. Overall I had a good time with this game!

Wow, I really enjoyed playing through this! Unfortunately it looks like I got stuck on a screen and can't progress any further, but I thought the dialogue was really nicely written and I really felt for Izanagi and Izanami's relationship. The premise, too, was really interesting and wacky. 

The use of songs and audio was really cool too and added to the narrative in a nice way. Though I will say the first song that's used during the Wolverton part felt just a little bit unfitting for that scene for me? Maybe it's just because it was right after the dramatic introduction. But most of the time it really added to the experience and immersion. I'm the kind of person who always has to be listening to background music when doing tasks so I really enjoyed you putting these touches in here, it helped me concentrate a lot. Plus, the text effects were really cool and helped convey a lot of emotion. Overall really well done!

(a note that the screen I got stuck on is Izanagi saying "Well, what do you want me to say? Did you want me to lie??" inside the cave)

I love how the dialogue choices don't reveal everything that you're going to say! Sometimes I get really surprised at how savage the character gets after I choose an option. I think that's really fun and is a good way to flesh out his personality and let Karenin keep surprising the player, which gives it an extra element that makes the gameplay more interesting. I think characterization was super well done in this game. I really enjoyed all of the drama and the choices varied a lot, and felt pretty monumental when I made them, which made me really invested in the end result. 

Sometimes the links at the end of lines feel a little bit excessive. If the passage is already pretty short I don't think you need too many in one passage.
Also a heads up: there are a bunch of errors in the coding which are visible when you play through the game. Please take a look at that!

Interesting strategy game! I felt like there were a ton of different paths and endings in this game while playing it. One thing though that confused me was the amount of characters in this game. This likely is much easier to understand and play if you have knowledge of the source material, but I'm not so familiar with it, so sometimes I got confused with all of the different characters that had been introduced. I think that using more colloquial language could have helped, or more physical descriptions that could set each person apart from the other. Or maybe even making their names a link that you can click to reveal information about them again in case the player forgot who they were. 

I also thought that the element of you being someone who's actually familiar with the story and then being reincarnated as Liu Shan was really fun. It was a smart move and it made explaining exposition to the player seem a lot smoother, since the character is recalling information they read about the night before. Though I would have liked to see this element referenced a little more throughout the game. Overall, this was really well done and enjoyable to play.

The thing I enjoyed most about this game was the writing and worldbuilding. I think that these were really well done. One of the biggest risks and challenges with trying to introduce an entire world in a limited space like a twine game with a set due date, is explaining how things work without the heavy, overwhelming feeling of an exposition dump. I think that this game accomplished it pretty well. I didn't feel lost while playing through the game at all, and I enjoyed Mana's quirkier less serious character.

I didn't get a feeling that it is easy to have a loss state in this game. It felt pretty linear when I was playing through it (though I could be wrong about this since I only played it once). Especially during the RESIST part, I felt like there was just no way I could have failed that at all, and there was a little bit of a disconnect there between what the character was going through and what the player is going through. Maybe giving more choices during this part, despite them all leading to a success (which is likely imperative to making the story progress), could have given more of a feeling of the player struggling alongside the character? 

Other than that, this has really strong writing and sense of plot. I enjoyed playing it a lot! The writing definitely added a lot to the emotions and characterization which made the water-sucking lights genuinely creepy. (Also, I caught your lil author's note Easter egg)

The feet part gave me serotonin thank you. This was very good and heartwarming! I'm happy that there's a good ending with Henry. Also this feels extremely complete already which is cool, you can spend the last week making it even better.

The reveal at the end that it's Victor telling Justine everything that happened makes sense, until you think from the beginning. The entire exposition dump there wouldn't make any sense if it's Victor telling his sister about stuff that she already knows, unless I'm reading it wrong? Either way, I felt like there was a lot of explained exposition right away that was too much and was hard to keep up with a little bit. You could instead think about opening at the mom's death and then through that show Victor's relationships with others, in order to minimize the amount of actual flat explaining that will have to be done (just a random thought you don't have to implement by any means!) This would also make sense with the whole explaining to Justine part, since you could say the mom's death is where it all started for Victor and his creation of the monster, something that she wouldn't know I think?

Overall, it was really good! Great writing, incredibly heartwarming and wholesome content, which is interesting for a story as horrific and iconic as Frankenstein. I liked the pacing a lot and the way it's formatted. The stylesheet is also verryyyy cool and fitting

The characterization is really solid. I played this a few times and tried to pick different choices each time, and each time I ended up viewing him as the self-absorbed asshole that he is in the story (I'm assuming, since I haven't read it) even with vastly different levels of politeness in the choices that you're allowed to take. I think that's pretty well done, especially since Dorian Grey is such an iconic character with an already established personality. giving the reader some leeway but still having some aspects of him set in stone was perfect, in my opinion.

I feel like the pacing of events could be improved a bit? The parts with dialogue and conversation are well paced but the parts that are mostly action and things happening (going to the park, the homeless guy, the cop, and then the theater) could have been elaborated upon a little more. I feel like those happened a little fast, and a little too concisely, in comparison to the opening conversation, which was pretty fleshed out.

though this depends on how large of a part these scenes will actually play in your plan for the finished game!

Overall, intriguing beginning, good writing, nice characterization, looking forward to the finished ver

Here's some things that I'm wondering: how is the pacing/writing? Is it interactive enough? Is it boring? Is the introduction too rushed? Sorry about the incompleteness!