Very engaging writing! I think this story was a nice length, and the imagery was wonderfully worded & vivid enough to paint a good picture. If you want to continue working on this game: I'd enjoy seeing more choices along the way, even if they're just single-option choices to break up the text. Also, I think the accept/reject/deflect format would be helpful to use, especially if it's difficult to come up with options. Fortunately, your writing was fun and interesting to read, so it wasn't too frustrating to not have so many choices (though I think more would be beneficial no matter what.)