"Not written yet, sorry :("
Aw, I was having fun. Pretty neat world tho, and the writing's equally entertaining. The dialog is believable, conveys character, and isn't too wordy. The lewd scenes (at least the one with Lance) are well done. And there's just enough exposition to give flavor to the world without it feeling too overwhelming. The opening section before you enter the cave felt a bit drawn out tho.
Thank you so much for the feedback! I'm especially glad you enjoyed the dialogue, since that's an area I think I've been weak in and have been working to improve :)
And thanks for the critique about the intro. I wanted it to convey some of the protagonist's personality/background, but I'm not sure how much character dev you really need/want for what is essentially a self-insert character, and I especially don't want the beginning of the story to be tedious. May trim this section.
