No it didn't really come off as defensive, I think I got the tone of it. In the context of adult art however we absolutely are talking about sex objects. That's the reason why I said that I have never heard it used to belittle a trans person. Every time I've seen it used was exclusively to describe a piece of erotic art that someone drew, not a real individual. Our experiences may differ on this and I acknowledge that.
What I'm trying to get across here is that yielding ownership of a word to a group that wants to use it to get at you is not helpful. It's usually best to either reclaim it or ignore it, otherwise it will get used against you regardless of how many people you get to agree not to use it. The people who are trying to offend you don't care what sorts of words do or don't get used in polite society.
I absolutely do understand and sympathize with your position, but the only remedy against trolls is not to participate in their games. If you make "trans" the replacement word then the trolls will just use that against you instead. I've already seen it used for just that exact purpose. It's not the words, it's the context and the people saying them.