I cant get my FrSky xlite s to connect do you know what might be the cause of the problem, the first time i tried to connect it it worked for a couple of seconds but not any more
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Make sure you select "Joystick" as connection method when you plug in in (not "Mass storage").
What operating system are you running it on?
Do you get any movement of the little circles as you go through the Calibrate Controller procedure in Freerider?
There was an automatic Windows 10 update that rolled out some time ago that broke the USB drivers. Not sure if that affects you, but you can find more information here.
Also, there is some general tips in the user manual that you can check out.
Ok glad that you are at least able to fly using the Xbox controller. Of course it's a lot nicer to use an actual radio, so I hope you will be able to get it working. Perhaps you need to check out the Windows 10 update document (link in the above post), there are also a lot of videos on youtube videos that speaks of how some Windows 10 update broke the USB drivers (not just for Freerider) and that shows how to fix it.