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(Me: -laughing like a donkey- this dude has no idea of everything Sammy boi has been through thats like half or a quarter of his story. Lol . . Sorry I just realized that sounded rude.)

Sam: -he just stands there expressionless and quiet and eventually says- im sorry I ever started talking . . Lets go home its probably midnight or something.

(Oh that's not everything that happened to Damien either, that's the SPARKNOTES SUMMARY.)               

Damien glares at you 

Damien:...yeah, let's go...

(We shall be so evil and only give clues for the whole story to each other 😈 nothing like a good cliffhanger)

-once you get to the door of the apartment and open it Max is there meowing nonstop-

Sam: -he goes to feed max, and max follows-

Damien looks around cautiously 

Sam: . . I know now's not the time to ask but uh . . Where am I sleeping? should I sleep on the floor or the couch or . . Where?

Damien: You can have my bed-I don't tend to sleep much anyway. 

Sam: i- ok then. -twitches- should I go to bed now or . . -lol s o awkward-

Damien stiffens and presses his hand over Sam's mouth 

Sam:??

Damien sighs 

Damien: For trained professionals, you're not very quiet. C'mon out...