I love bouncing thoughts off with you and hearing the "behind the scenes" of your intentions. This is really fun! xD
Just my thoughts: The player is playing through the eyes and mind of Dave, who clearly adores his dad. If you want the reader to empathize with Dave, I feel it would be important to try and get the reader to understand why Dave loves his dad so much, and to try and get the reader to love dad as much as possible also (Even through the depression dreams). This would definitely make the day 14 payoff so much more painful (in the best way)
Day 10 -
I think you may have misinterpreted me, I totally understand that this isn't how dad might've actually responded to Dave's problem. The reader has no clue how dad would have actually responded. The "perturbing" thing to me was: Is that really the advice Dave thinks his dad would give him in this situation? Because to me the advice just seemed shallow and cliched. This leads me to think Dave believes his dad would only give him such unhelpful advice as, "Oh you think your friends are going to die? Do your best! Everyone dies!". Perhaps I'm just viewing this all wrong!
If you're saying that Dave's subconscious is only giving Dave the advice he wants to hear. I just can't think of "do your best!" as fitting at this moment. (I think this may be our biggest disagreement!)
Also, when I was reading this scene I assumed that dad not knowing the time or date was enough to clue Dave that he was dreaming.
Day 13 -
Hm... Sometimes I do daydream random scenarios in my head, particularly when I'm really into something. I am also working on my own VN and sometimes when I'm doing homework I'll just space out and imagine an entire fight scene in my head. Although I suppose in daydreams your subconscious isn't messing with you as hard as it might in a dream. But I could definitely see readers being confused as to whether this was a memory or a daydream. Maybe I'm completely wrong and 90% of readers get this easily.
Day 14 (2) -
For the living room, that makes perfect sense. This makes me feel so dumb because I read that and thought, "Well that's random, why does Dave hate the living room?". And then in the very next flashback scene you hint at it, but I still don't get it. I think maybe if you used the doorway/entrance it might have struck me better? (cuz that's where Dave and the reader find out) But who knows; I probably still wouldn't have made the connection.
I definitely understood the colorblind part, that was one of the more obvious depression motifs.
Day 15 -
I was just thinking about in movies whenever a character is haunted by something but then comes to accept it and gets closure, the thing that was haunting them appears one last time in a small happy moment before disappearing. So like Dave has accepted his dad is dead, so in his last dream his dad walks out of the door (closure) and is replaced by his friend whom he cares about (new worldview). I know it can seem a little cheesy, but I am a total sap for that type of stuff. Especially considering all the build-up towards Dave getting closure.
When I kept reading the lines "Just give up, Dave. Let whatever happens, happen." I kept thinking that maybe Jack or dad said it previously and I just missed it. But if you're saying it's from the morphic resonance stuff that would be a pretty juicy revelation.