Might be a bit weird but the description made me feel it's one of those short finished games. Specifically the " FEATURES" part.
"Full character artwork" is not needed, as we can see the images while browsing.
"Numerous choices to make" makes it feel as if you're trying to boastfuly advertise, so i'd turn that into "Choices have consequences" for example.
I say note how often you'll do content updates to draw people in, because I only got a clue it's not a finished game because the build file name is 0.1 and not 1.0.
The promo image should also probably include the cute hyena if he's the selling point :p
Also you might want to answer if the game will feature sex scenes because i'm surprised nobody asked yet
Lastly, i failed to see what kind of game this is, reading gave me vague points like: secrets, superpowers, alien mystery.
The questions i'm asking myself are: can i date the hyena? Is this game sfw? Is it on a monthly update schedule? will main character get those "incredible powers"? Is it like one of those anime battle shounens like naruto?
Might post more after i play.