Thank you for the constructive feedback! It's funny because 'too on the nose' were the EXACT words I said to my wife yesterday as one of my concerns. Unfortunately, due to unforeseen work commitments, I only had a few hours (8 or so) to make the game, so all the dialogue was written more or less first time, as it came into my head. I only had time for two passes for grammar checking! >.<
I also really wanted to add more agency for the player, but in Bitsy it's very time-consuming so it didn't make it in :).
Thanks again!