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(2 edits) (+2)

Alright, this game was interesting and there's a lot it does right and even some of the things I have problem with are neat in the sense that I can certainly appreciate the attempt. EDIT: I've managed to get past the part I got stuck at. I've been enjoying it so far.

Now for the presentation aspect. The title screen and the opening are both great and set the mood. However, the voice acting and dialogue have issues. The reporter is fine, but the rest of the character sound like robots. At first, I thought it was text to speech instead of voice acting. There's no emotion to them, they are just reading their lines. Well, the main character sounds vaguely cheerful most of the time (odd, considering that his girlfriend was murdered a week ago), but that's it. The dialogue was also written by someone who has english as their second language, which results in a lot of weird lines. It seems like you are watching a story about aliens trying to mimic human society instead of it feeling natural.

But there's a lot of potential there. Rewrite the dialogue and get it proofread, then redo the voice acting and it could be really awesome. Also, make the MC be atleast a bit sad about his girlfriend's murder. He's pretty cheery despite the fact that his girlfriend he alegedly loves has just been murdered. I'd expect some mourning, especially since it's been only a week since her death. His voice acting as a cheery guy doesn't help in this fact. If this is the way he's supposed to act, I'm not surprised he's the prime suspect.

Anyway, here are my thought's as I was playing it:

So, the main character and his dad have a lovely, cheerful morning a week after the horrific murder of the MC's girlfriend. They also talk about the MC's dead mom in such a way that makes me think like they didn't really care about her. Then the sheriff calls the MC into his office to question him, because he thinks he's the murderer he's looking for. The MC decides to prove his innocence and investigate on his own even before he actually gets to the sheriff's office. Ok, so I guess we leave the house now.

Alright, so when you leave, you are now in some huge room with stairs to the south filled with a bunch of boxes. I guess they live in an apartment complex? But what's with all those boxes? That seems like a pretty big fire hazard. Makes it seem like they live in a warehouse. The game doesn't let me leave, because "I'm not done yet". I try to interact with everything, until I get some letter from a mailbox. Maybe have the main character say something like "I should check the mail first".

After getting the letter going down the stairs of the apartment complex, you are suddently in a restaurant, without any context. As far as you know, Amez is going to the Sheriff's office, but he stops by a restaurant without any real reason provided. Sure, when you get to the counter, it becomes obvious he stopped by to get breakfast (despite his dad apparently being busy cooking in the kitchen, why not eat home), but it's so sudden and he never ends up actually eating there, so it feels out of place.

The scene with the girl behind the counter feels weird. Amez is oddly trusting of her. Maybe make her an old friend of Amez and he's going to confide in her about the accusations. It would make it much more natural, even if she was to turn out to be something else later. Or have her introduce herself as his girlfriend's friend (it doesn't actually have to be true) and that she knows he didn't do it and also wants to find out why, so they should team up.

The locations are way too quiet. I can understand the hallway and MC's home, but the restaurant full of people definitely feels weird, when the only thing you hear are the MC's footsteps. Atleast some music would be nice.

Speaking of things being quiet, the menu could use some sound effects.

Ok, these scene transitions are very confusing, when you leave the restaurant, you wind up at the Sheriff's Office right away, again with zero introduction. It feels like some weird nightmare the MC has more than reality.

The Sheriff's Office has a bunch of tiles glued to the wall that are meant to be placed on the floor tiles. Maybe you could make an argument for the locker, but the desk and the wastebin just look bad this way. I understand what you are trying to do here, but it's not working without some edits.

During the questioning, the Sheriff never asks if he has someone who can confirm his alibi, despite the fact that the MC was alegedly home and lives with his dad. Even if his dad was somewhere else at the time and couldn't confirm it, it would be something that should come up. If the dad "conveniently" wasn't home that night, it could make Amez look even more suspicious in the Sheriff's eyes.

Ok, so after another short scene in the dinner, you are teleported to the hospital. The Nurse asks Amez if he wants to get an appointment with the doctor Neeta used to work under and that's where the conversation ends. Atleast have him decline and maybe think to himself on how to proceed next.

The second floor of the hospital is almost identical to the first one. I get that these places are uniform, but maybe atleast add something there that allows you to distinguish that you actually changed floors. Maybe some potted plant near the stairs.

"Another cringe, that's for sure."...what :D Ok, I laughed at that line, it came out of nowhere :D But if you want the game to be taken seriously, this line should be redone. Maybe use another word instead of cringe.

Ok, so Amez found out that his girlfriend cheated on him, but he doesn't even seem hurt and immediately says he still loves her just as much as before anyway. I find this unbelievable. Hell, this potentially gives him a motive for her murder, he should be atleast slightly worried about that atleast.

There's a door in the hospital the game tells me I can interact with, but when I do, nothing happens. It's the one that should lead to the fancy office with the two couches.

(2 edits) (+1)

Hi Beregon! Thanks for playing my game and I appreciate your feedbacks.

  • The voice acting in this game uses utilizes AI for cognitive technology that utilize trained voices through machine learning for close to natural results. However, it is not perfect, at least for me.
  • The awkward dialogues, transitions, lack of music and menu sounds are under my radar and will be fixed in future updates.
  • For the Hospital area, you need to examine Neeta's computer, the note on Neeta's desk as well as the note on Neeta's locker in order to unlock Dr. Sorez's office.
  • I had done several playtesting and you can finish the story in this version. However, you need to examine every items first before able to proceed to the next scene. I suggest you to spend more time to explore the environment.
  • Nevertheless, I will try my best to improve every aspect of this game. As this is an early access game, there will be a lot of room  for improvement.
(1 edit) (+1)

Thanks for the quick response, I figured that it might be something like that. Still, that interactable door in the hospital... nothing happens, despite the interact icon showing. If it's supposed to be inaccessible at this moment, maybe add some text like "Locked"?

EDIT: Ok, now it's showing "It's locked" despite not doing that before, weird.

 I'll try to play through the game again and share more thoughts about it.

(+1)

Much welcome, Beregon! I hope you can share more of your thoughts while completing the game. Have fun!

(+2)

Alright, you were right, I missed a note on the desk, that was on me. Still, the door was confusing.

SPOILERS:

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Ok, so now he's reacting to Neeta's cheating, despite earlier being like "whatever, I don't care, I still love her anyway". Feels inconsistent.

Ok, Sorez just appeared out of thin air before Amez and he doesn't think it's weird at all. Unfinished cutscene I guess. Have him walk up to the desk in the final version, but I'm sure you know that.

"What, you think I killed her?" "Even worse, you had a relationship with her!" Wow, so Amez considers him having a relationship with his girlfriend worse than if he murdered her? I think he should get some priorities. Maybe instead, something like "You did more than that, you had a relationship with her!" would be better.

"What are you going to do about it? Going to cry a river?" Ok, that idiom seems unnatural in this context. A better line would be "What are you gonna do about it? Cry?"

So, now Amez is transported to a creepy derelict version of the hospital with zero context as to what just happened and Amez doesn't even seem to think it's strange. He immediately wants to go looking for a flashlight less than a second after presumably being transported to a hellish otherworld after arguing with a doctor his girlfriend was cheating with. He sure is all business, that Amez.

Ok, when I said that the hospital floors were too similar before, the otherworld hospital takes it to another level. This really is a problem.

And Amez is back to reality, but it didn't really seem to affect him at all. While there and after returning to reality, he acted like he got stuck in a traffic jam or something.

Alright, so, another encounter with the Sheriff. then back to the restaurant. Wait, Amez didn't know where his girlfriend lived? That's weird.

Now after leaving the restaurant, Amez is now transitioned to the place where his girlfriend lived? You know, I think this place could use an outdoor map. So far, everything was happening indoors. Atleast a shot of how the place looks like from outside. It would add a lot.

Also, at this point, walking everywhere feels like a chore. Maybe consider adding dashing to the game?

The second floor of Neela's old apartment complex looks like some weird maze. rather than as a building that makes sense. That might be realistic though.

The shadow effect on the ceiling tiles of Neela's apartment makes it look like her apartment is floating in an empty void, probably because the tiles are black. It doesn't look good, the edges should be visible atleast. Apart from that, the apartment looks nice.

Wait, Neeta's still alive? Didn't they find her dead body? If not, why is this a murder case and not a missing person case? Was it a fake? Amez takes this news about the ritual with his traditional "all business" attitude. You can't actually read the Diary, so all you know about what's in it is that according to Amez "the ritual hasn't started yet". What ritual, what does he know? What did he actually learn from the diary?

Alright, back to the otherworld. Amez still doesn't seem to think that it's something out of the ordinary though. "Bad things can happen at anytime." It's like he got a flat tire or something.

Ok, i found a Fuse and some machine at the higher floor. The machine asked me to select an item to use, I accidentally clicked the wrong one (apartment keys), the game says "it does not work" and now I can't interact with the machine again, even after switching maps. So, reload. This is definitely a bug.

After reloading and selecting the fuse now, it now works and the elevator is functional.

Wait what, you were in a nightmarish otherworld and now Amez is suddenly in jail in the real world, because apparently "looks like the sheriff was serious about putting him in jail". Wait, what. Was there supposed the be an arrest scene after you leave the otherworld building? Or did he like arrest him while he was stuck in the otherworld and now he woke up in jail? If the second, why doesn't he think that it's weird?

"You've broken the rules twice and I will not let you walk off free again." Immediately after that happens, the sheriff disappears and the cell door is suddenly open, what just happened?

Ok, so, now he's at the library after finding a note from his restaurant friend to go there. The library is a nice map, but I'm not too sure about those 2 burning fireplaces there. Doesn't seem like something that would be in a modern library.

Ok, so he now apparently has some ticket that wasn't mentioned before. It really should be.

Wait, his mom was murdered 5 years before and he didn't know, because his dad lied to him about it? He was 23 when his mom was murdered, how did he not know that? One would think that even if his dad lied to him, other people in the town and his friends would tell him. Not to mention the investigation that would've taken place. This is just unbelievable.

Also, doesn't he now apparently "know" that Neeta is alive?

Who is this Akhtra guy? Once again, the MC read something, but the player doesn't get any insight as to what the MC learned.

Well, now there's a weird lady on a throne that appeared out of nowhere. Atleast now it seems intentional and Amez seems atleast mildly surprised. It feels a bit out of place though.

The inventory has the last item cut off if you have enough of them. Some kind of bug in the ui I guess.

Alright, now back to the otherworld. At this point, it could use to be more interesting. The game also doesn't reward exploration and there's a lot of pointless passages there that are even more annoying because you can't run.

Ok, so Akhtra is apparently 3 cultist dudes? Also, this transitioned from a murder mystery with some supernatural elements into a chosen one story pretty quick.

"All this time, it was the three of you, I knew it!" Wait, what, how did he know that? Who are they anyway? The game didn't seem to tell me even the bare minimum. Also, "they" told him to move on with their life? When? Are they meant to be cloaked previous NPCs?

Ok, so he shot them and now he's suddenly in some unknown location (a park maybe?) with his not-dead girlfriend. These transitions.

You know, the girlfriend cheated on him. Maybe he could bring it up and be a little conflicted about her? Instead, they get back together. Also, Amez escaped from jail. One would think there would be some consequences. And then it's the credits.

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Playing this feels like watching something like The Room, except in videogame form. It's so unintentionally hilarious :D I know it's a very early access version of the final game and the story suffers as a result. Mapping is great, except the hospital part, that one needs some work (the hallway areas atleast). Still, you have something here that could potentially be really great, hope my criticism helped you. :)

(+1)

Hello again, Beregon!

First of all, It makes me so happy to know that you completed my game. Thank you so much.

In addition to your comprehensive review, I also appreciate your constructive feedback and suggestions. I value all of these aspects when it comes to improving my game. As this is my first ever RPG Maker game release, although it is still in its early stages, it is my goal to ensure that everyone will enjoy my game. Getting a positive rating will undoubtedly encourage me to learn, improve and adapt to the needs of the players.

Best regards, 

Ikmal Said.