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and how do i interact with her?, shes just standing there in the cabin and i cant get inside

Proceed with the story until the Ghostgirl visits you at your place by night. After that event Pamela will be available. 

but there are no story quests left i finished them all and all side quests too nothing new pops up in the quest journal so im just kinda runnin around working on stats and money, last quest i did was collecting 10 crystals and then nothing happened after i did that.

What version do you have? You can see it in the top left corner in the main menu. If I remember correct, you can give the crystals to uncle.

im on V 0.11.0d 

I see. You probably used saves from older versions. Most of the time that actually works, but it seems like it messed with Pamela. Try to start a fresh new game and see if she comes out after some quests. You can hit ESC during a dialogue and fast forward it if you want to speed run.