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Proceed with the story until the Ghostgirl visits you at your place by night. After that event Pamela will be available. 

but there are no story quests left i finished them all and all side quests too nothing new pops up in the quest journal so im just kinda runnin around working on stats and money, last quest i did was collecting 10 crystals and then nothing happened after i did that.

What version do you have? You can see it in the top left corner in the main menu. If I remember correct, you can give the crystals to uncle.

im on V 0.11.0d 

I see. You probably used saves from older versions. Most of the time that actually works, but it seems like it messed with Pamela. Try to start a fresh new game and see if she comes out after some quests. You can hit ESC during a dialogue and fast forward it if you want to speed run.