Hi axoona!
I really appreciate how real and raw this piece is. I feel like you've just let us into your world, as it is, a true and direct account of the self-talk you were going through (that I'm sure we've all been through as well). For that reason, this piece was super relatable (I found myself thinking YUP a lot of the time).
So far as form goes, I loved how you played with lineation, and all the different permutations/extensions of a single line. It reflects the iterative nature of self-talk perfectly. If we view this as a Twine game, it's not very experimental, but if we view this as a rehashing of a traditional poem, this poem is extremely experimental!
The way you paced the end too really blew my mind. I feel like you took us on a journey of struggle, self doubt, and eventual reconciliation. The ending totally floored me. Left me with a sense of quietude (doinglessness!) that was really precious and peaceful. Definitely a poem. Thanks so much for sharing.
To respond to your comments, first off I'm stoked you have a community that really fuels you! Pang sounds awesome. Good point about shorter jams, and if/when we do this again maybe it would be best to have a few 3-day jams rather than a continuous multi-month one. Thanks for the idea! Live jams are great, and I wish jams like those happened more, but I do really like the fact that people all over the world have access to it. Maybe if shuf grows as an organization we can organize things like this! That'd be rad.
Here's a lil vid I made of my playing through it! So you can get live feedback (sorry I read in my head some times and it's just like silent lol)