Not commenting about story (yet) but about the game's page! It's pulled me right in with the art's unique vibe and just wanna say, I love the conversational style in which you explained about the game and the trigger warnings... Gonna play the game and get back here ON TOPIC asap, haha. Sorry for the random post.
Viewing post in Who's your favorite and why?🍭
No need to apologize, I love getting all types of feedback.😊 I'm glad you like the look of the page, I'm very proud of the overall design & style of the game so it's really nice to hear you say that (Took a lot of trial and error to get it to this point😅)
I'm glad you like my writing style too, that's also how the game is going to read so it's good that you already enjoy the way I write, haha!
I can't wait to hear what you think of the demo, I'm looking forward to reading your thoughts💜
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Alright alright alright, well then let me tell you!
These characters... THEIR EXPRESSIONS! The fact that it kinda all looks like an LSD trip while parkouring over graffitied walls... I love all of that. The game always has so much to look at and with the particles floating around on some scenes with the flashing windows in the mall/ ice-cream place, the game's always feeling alive. Like it's never still. Great. The main character looks gorgeous, the boys all have their own unique looks and all in all the game is BRIGHT! It slaps you in the face with the colour and I have to say, it's an incredible vibe that sticks with you even when you leave the game. (My fave boy is Leo because he seems most chill. And a lowkey dick because he's done with everyone's immature shit. But not a total asshole, you get me? Just low-key...)
Also in love with the little versions of MC's sprite and Leo's. The ones with the no🚫signs. They fit the vibe well and made the characters so much easier to focus on with the bright backgrounds.
Now...
With all due respect, I'd also like to include a bit of critisism, if you don't mind reading it. (Proceeds to write essay)
The very PUNCH of colour that keeps the memory of the game fresh in my mind, is also what's... Making the game difficult to process when I play it. Though the Demo is very short, I did notice how my eye had too much to concentrate on. I'd like to say where, exactly the colours were too much, from my own personal perspective, just in case it's even slightly useful.
The say screens when the characters were speaking.
I like how there are two components to this screen: the part where the text appears, and the part to the right that shows the personality and name of the character. If I was making this game (which I'm not, so feel free to take what I'm saying with a giant, burning dumpster-truck of salt) I'd leave that part of the say screen which shows the name and personality of the person just as it is, but the part that's the background of the actual TEXT that they're saying, I would make it a neutral colour... Maybe white, I really don't know. And I would make it the same for all the characters, so the name/personality part of the say screen stands out when it changes.
And when there's narration, it seems... pointless. As well as out of place when the main character's not there. I noticed how when the MC's thinking and narrating her own actions, the say screen is the same as when there's a neutral narrator. That's confusing. Perhaps each character should narrate their own actions...? It would leave the player knowing more than the MC, though, so I understand why you may not want to do that, if you'd prefer to have us completely experience our life through the MC's eyes... Maybe you could have everyone narrate their own actions just when it's without MC in the screen? I'm sorry, that might be completely useless.
Another thing about the say screen. When Ace was thinking, his deep red text was difficult to see. Not to the point I couldn't read, but to the point I noticed how much I was straining my eyes. (He's hell of a handsome devil, btw (￣y▽,￣)╭ )
The say screen and sprite for the shop-keeper were nice, too. Simple enough and didn't take any attention away from the Main Characters. Also kinda highlighted the dude's personality, too, with his unique speach pattern.
Also also, the sprite for MC blended in with the BGs too much. Maybe outline her in black like Leo.
And the menu screen. When you make your choices. It was very jarring. Perhaps have it drop in from above with an animation or at least fade in.
TLDR: Great game. How bright and jarring it is makes it's charm for me, but it's a bit too bright and jarring in places.
Oh haha! I love this! Okay...
Haha yes, I'm always trying to think of the wackiest expressions for them I'm glad you like them.
An LSD trip while parkouring over graphite walls???😂 lol I totally see it, love the way you described that. I went all the way to the moon with the color theme.🔴🟠🟡🟢🔵🟣⚫⚪
Glad you like MCs look, she gets a bunch of outfits in the full game, they all do. You're gonna love their other looks too.
💰👑Leo's a whole ass vibe, I'm glad you like him. He's a breeze to write, I enjoy his chill scenes versus those other crazies. (Zayn)
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Alright, a critique essay, let me get ready🧐 (p.s. I appreciate critiques too, no worries)
I know the colors can be a bit overwhelming in some areas of the story, but it won't always be so loud in other areas of the game so I hope it's not TOO disorienting.
I tend to over-design at times, the earlier design of the texts boxes where also said to be difficult to read against, the redesign proved to be much better but it still becomes difficult to balance as many colors as the game has without things becoming too complex or blending with similar shades. Like MC in the purple-ish bus. 💜
The demo is short, but as the story is laid out, if I tried to extend it to another good resting point, I felt the demo would've been too long cause a lot takes place after the scenes following the demo. Alternatively, I also could've cut it off on a very cliffhanger part to keep it at a decent length but without finding a good stopping point. I may release an extended demo closer to the full release but I'm not fully decided on that just yet.
some color tuning is definitely in order for the textboxes, thank you for your suggestion. I was considering making it so each character has a different color text as well that makes the words easier to read on their respective textboxes, I'll also experiment with neutral colors as you suggested.
There's redundant & misplaced narration you say,🤔 I'll definitely be going back into the story with that in mind, I'll do my best to improve in that, thank you. This was actually very valuable input and not at all useless, I know the story can get pretty confusing with the neutral and mc narrators and was actually recently fixed in the project so that now the perspective and narrator shift to whoever's in an active scene. I'm trying to get rid of the neutral narrator entirely to eliminate this confusion. So don't worry, I felt that too and I'm working on fixing it now.
You like Ace, do you🕷❤ He's my favorite too😊 His think text is dark red, and when a character is thinking I cut the opacity down to 50% I can see how that would be hard to read especially for less saturated characters like Ace, this is one of the color tuning issues I'll definitely get around to correcting. No one likes to be too aware of the text when reading visual novels but that tends to happen in situations like that so it will be fixed.
extras have a much easier time having their text readable because of how simple their textbox is, I've been brainstorming on ways to fix this for the main characters without having to compromise the design of their text boxes. this will be better in the full game, I assure you. There are a lot of characters to fine-tune on that front.
The choices screen cutting in so abruptly is also something I want to fix, (I've been trying to figure out how. lol 😅) don't worry, that'll be fixed too.
Thank you for that thorough review, I mean it. I like how transparent you were with sharing your experience with me and it gave me a lot to think about.😊 There's always room for improvement.
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Wow, you're amazing! Responding so positively and sincerely to the "review" of a fan! I might just melt, haha. Good luck with everything you've mentioned, I had absolutely no idea how much trial and error you've gone through for this game- and I still don't! But now I think I have a better idea. So thank you for the response and I really wish you all the best. Am definitely going to keep coming back for more, it's a wonderful feeling to feel like I'm... Involved? Like you care what I think? Anyway, good luck!! ~<3
Aww~😊 you flatterer. After reading your message, I actually already started work on some of your suggestions, making the words more visible, and I got it...
💜OUTLINES💜
The words are now all outlined in a thin border of dark grey and it makes things much easier to read, I'll share a screenshot of it in my next dev log.
And thank YOU for being so honest with your experience of the demo, it really helps with the game. I want the game to be as pleasant as can be (minus the trigger warnings lol) and I sincerely value hearing your thoughts on it.
This honestly made me so happy today so have this virtual hug as thanks🤗💕
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