Congratulations on finishing your first VN! It's a step most people never reach as they quit before they are ever done :)
The art in this VN is mind-blowing. There are so many backgrounds, I'm amazed you got all of those done within a single month.
The story is long for a first try, you got a lot done, even if one option still said WIP.
As far as the writing goes, there are some errors here and there. I write for our VNs and it happens to me a lot as well! That's why I have my trusty editor catching most of the awkward phrases and typos I hide all over the story.
It's always good to have another pair of eyes (or three pairs, or four, haha) to look over the VN, since as an author, it's very difficult to catch your own mistakes. After all, *you* know what you're trying to say!
That being said, I know it's very difficult to find a proper editor to help out. Still, never give up if you're struggling to find one :)
I saw that one option said WIP, so I'm guessing you'll continue this VN now that the jam is over? Good luck and have fun with that! Maybe you could also add some more atmospheric background music while you're at it.
By the way, I got the "natural" ending. It was quite gruesome, as expected from a horror game, haha :D
Good luck on your future projects, maybe I'll see another game of yours in a different jam down the road!