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I liked your game. The red line story didn't really fit with the green line then, after killing the mortals, but it was still interesting enough to keep reading. 
Some parts were a bit rushed and I would have liked it when the past stories were written in another color or italic or something to make it clearer. But nevertheless it was an entertaining novel. 

Thanks for playing my game and providing feedback. This was my first time making a game and getting it done by the end of the jam was a real challenge so I’m glad you were able to enjoy it in spite of its flaws!