Some of the story later on will do more than tug at your heartstrings, it will straight tie them to the back of a racecar and floor it. Few games have actually managed to hit me right in the feels, but this one does a damned good job of it.
Now i know what the problem is. Especially at the beginning his "thoughts" are an exposition dump. And the way all charakters talk, feels very unnatural. I don't know anyone, who talks like that (and thinks like that... but i can't read minds, so who knows ;P). Both these points made him look like a "smart ass". Overanalyzing everything and talking/ giving advice in a very formal manner.
But in episode 2 it get's better, because the amount of exposition is reduced. I'm in Episode 3 now and it gets interesting now.
My suggestions on how to fix these problems (by someone who has never written anything... ;P):
1. Let them talk more casual.
2. Reduce "exposition thoughts". A rule in movies is "show, don't tell". Since this is a "visual" novell, it should be possible. I know, it's more work.
3. When characters are talking to each other, make thoughts shorter. Normal people do not have much time to analyze every detail when talking to someone.
4. Big thinking can happen when a character is alone.
But i will continue reading now, because i'm excited to see what these heartbreaking moments later are.