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(1 edit)

Now i know what the problem is. Especially at the beginning his "thoughts" are an exposition dump. And the way all charakters talk, feels very unnatural. I don't know anyone, who talks like that (and thinks like that... but i can't read minds, so who knows ;P). Both these points made him look like a "smart ass". Overanalyzing everything and talking/ giving advice in a very formal manner.

But in episode 2 it get's better, because the amount of exposition is reduced. I'm in Episode 3 now and it gets interesting now. 

My suggestions on how to fix these problems (by someone who has never written anything... ;P):

1. Let them talk more casual.

2. Reduce "exposition thoughts". A rule in movies is "show, don't tell". Since this is a "visual" novell, it should be possible. I know, it's more work.

3. When characters are talking to each other, make thoughts shorter. Normal people do not have much time to analyze every detail when talking to someone. 

4. Big thinking can happen when a character is alone.

But i will continue reading now, because i'm excited to see what these heartbreaking moments later are.

(2 edits) (+2)

Thank you for playing, buddy.

I hate to say it, but I agree with you. Ep 1-2 or even 3 is pretty much my newbie days, apologies. Will try to fix the early episodes, when I have time. Might do some retouch on the renders while I'm at it.

(+1)

Masters are made, not born. No reason to apologize. That's one of the reasons i gave it another try.

But maybe you can answer me two question: How long does rendering an image take? And what tool do you use? Blender?

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I use Honey Select 2 and they only takes seconds depending on your PC.