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Franzinyte2 years ago(+1)

Hi hi hello hiii! I love the concept behind your story—I'm very much a sucker for this kind of relationship. I just wished the relationship between Sol and Luna was explored a bit more. While I was rooting for them, the chemistry between them felt a bit weak. An extra scene or two building on their relationship would help a lot, because it went by a little too fast. I understand it's supposed to be short, but the relationship was the main draw for me, and I wanted more of that!

I don't mind the story being a bit rough, but a transition between scenes would be nice. The time skips can be a bit jarring at times. Anyway, the UI is very cute and well-designed too, so good job with that!

I'm not sure if you wanted feedback on the endings so I'll hold off on that (let me know if you do), but I'm definitely looking forward to see Luna's side of things!

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nikkefort2 years ago (1 edit) (+1)

Hello! Thank you so much for your interest in the story and for your feedback!

If you think that their relationship was rushed, I'm very much open to adding more interactions between Sol and Luna! But adding more scenes between them is something that I'll work on last, probably, since there are other more pressing matters that need to be changed.

And I'm definitely going to do something with the time skips (maybe adding something like "Later that day"), and I'll see what I can do so that scenes don't end abruptly.

As for endings, I already have some plans to change them somewhat: expand on them and make them more of "show don't tell", plus I want to add one small scene with the spouse. If you have something else to add to that, I'll be happy to read about it!

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Franzinyte2 years ago(+1)

Whoops, very sorry for the late reply!

The only real problem I had with the ending was that staying with Luna was disappointing. There wasn't much build up to it, but I was more upset with the fact that it went in a different direction than I expected. I understand not having a totally happy ending, but if this was your intention with the themes, I think it could be communicated better. Because I'm thinking, what was all the special connection about if it's just gonna end this way?

The other ending was much better. I think more time with the spouse could be nice, but I think going back to Luna for a visit while noticing that something is off in the forest (or maybe meeting Luna's guardian?) might be a better cliffhanger since the hopeful thing for this ending is a bit too unlikely.

Anyway, I'm not sure if my ramblings are of any help, but I just really liked your story! :3

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nikkefort2 years ago(+1)

No worries about the late reply and thank you for taking your time to write this!

Your words actually made me want to add a plot point\an additional scene to the endings that I previously scrapped (mostly because of time)... I have hopes that it might help with some problems you listed, but if not, at the very least it might make endings more complete.

Outside of that, I'm not completely sure if the rewrite of the endings will solve all problems, but I'll keep in mind what you said so that I might fix this in other ways.

Thank you yet again for your interest in this story, and your comments are very helpful! <3

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