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I only recently found OPR, and I've been focused on AoF, so excuse my ignorance; are Saurians in space a faction in GF?

Okay, that aside, I found Brek'thar an interesting character, and the story was pretty engaging. My one major issue was Brek'thar/Brek. There didn't seem to be any rhyme or reason for choosing to use his formal name versus his shortened name. It's important to stick to one for flow and consistency, so you can emphasize when you swap between them.

Take Sam from LotR as an example. Samwise Gamgee. You know this is his full name from very early on, but probably 90% of the time, they call him Sam. Mostly on account of it being shorter, I'd imagine, as well as being the name he preferred. Tolkien only referred to him as Samwise when he was in trouble, when he was being shown reverence, such as by Faramir, who only ever calls him Samwise, and I believe in reference to his loyalty. Been a bit since I've read LotR, but I hope that explains what I mean.

Oh! And just one thought about the ending. Take it or leave it. I think you'd have a more decisive end without the "It was over" sentence. Try removing it and reading it without and see what you think!

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Hey Druski! I think you might have downloaded my first draft of the story and saved it to read later? I updated quite a bit of the story since then, including removing the "it was over" portion and the shortening of Brek'thar! Redownload it and let me know what you think! 

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Ah, that makes sense! I downloaded everything that was available when I submitted mine but there doesn't seem to be a way to note if there were updates from when it was downloaded. I'll give the more recent draft another read!

No worries man! I did that too and now I am rethinking how I've been rating them! I appreciate you giving it another shot.

Regarding the faction. Saurian Starhosts are going to be released either later this year or early next year. I just was so captivated by the idea that I had to put them in my story.