For me personally i just found them 'meh' but since you mentioned doing additions like the daveXtyson where appropriate as extras i'm not all that bothered with it.
However there are ways to do it without blatantly going ''then they knot fucked''. Maybe rather than thinking about wording it erotic go in a different direction. After all its just looking to be more impactful and satisfying.
I’m no author so I’m probably going to be terrible but I shall try to do an example (I will probably do terrible crimes of cringe).
'My heart was beating like a war drum as we went back to my room. A thousand thoughts running through my mind. When we arrived it was like the birth of a galaxy. Everything was new. Things that were so simple suddenly had new meaning and more gravitas. A touch of the hands, his fingers entwined with mine. His sent that had become so familiar filled me with comfort. His arms wrapping around me made me feel safe from the horrors of the world. And there in that embrace I fell into the sweetest slumber. As if ascending to paradise our souls intertwined our hearts beating as one.'
Yes Dave would never say or think like that, like I said I’m not an author and I’m not part of any fanfic stuff either. This is more an example of just fluffing thing up to sound more impactful. It can be summed up as ‘’we went back to my room and I fell asleep in his arms’’. However it sound a lot more grandiose when you frame it differently. What I tried to do was frame it with spirituality.