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Wellllllll.... that was a story, alright. I don't really have much to say about it aside from the fact that the ending was confusing. If I'm reading it correctly, Utsuho thought she ate the shiny eggs (when she ate the brown), and Koishi got mad at her for it? If so, that's a pretty fitting twist ending, Utsuho got wrecked by her birdbrain.

What I really don't like about this game is the traced art. I know Dairi does allow their portraits to be used in non-commercial fangames, but tracing the art seems like something that's not very ethical. I would prefer you either took the portraits as is and used them, or spent the remaining jam time making original portraits (since you submitted this very early). Your music is good so I believe you can make a visual novel with high-quality presentation.

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If it helps any, the ending is intended to be confusing and up to the reader's interpterion. Your interpterion is rather satisfying in my opinion. What I was thinking while I was writing it is that, Satori's dream was mostly unconnected to whatever drama they're participating in and Utsuho had eaten eggs in the refrigerator Koishi had deemed as her own without telling anyone.


 As far as the art goes, I am not confident at all as an artist and I have little experience. I started and ended the game jam early to avoid a event that decided to appear suddenly on that Saturday. I'm glad that the theme was revealed early so I could do the full four days on my first game jam. I spent half a day on the story and one and a half days on the music. The last two days and the last night were spent doing the art.  So while I know that traced art isn't good, it wasn't a case of putting not enough effort in. In fact, I think I tried to too hard on a lot of things that didn't matter to the final product, but I wanted to learn by doing instead of not doing. As an artist, I feel like I learned some stuff by staring at Dairi's art all day and trying to match it with my mouse, so in the future I think I'll have enough confidence to make something myself. And I'll do it regardless of how terrible it looks.

Sorry for the life story, I've never done a game jam before and I haven't gotten to tell anyone about it. I'm really happy that a bunch of people have played the thing I made, and I'm enjoying going through the things they made. It's really cool!

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Thanks for the reply!

Even though I still don’t agree with using traced art, it’s good to see you learned something from it. I think you totally have the confidence and skills to make your own amazing art, you just have to take the first step.