Wellllllll.... that was a story, alright. I don't really have much to say about it aside from the fact that the ending was confusing. If I'm reading it correctly, Utsuho thought she ate the shiny eggs (when she ate the brown), and Koishi got mad at her for it? If so, that's a pretty fitting twist ending, Utsuho got wrecked by her birdbrain.
What I really don't like about this game is the traced art. I know Dairi does allow their portraits to be used in non-commercial fangames, but tracing the art seems like something that's not very ethical. I would prefer you either took the portraits as is and used them, or spent the remaining jam time making original portraits (since you submitted this very early). Your music is good so I believe you can make a visual novel with high-quality presentation.